Mirror Mirror
by Joanne W
Summary: (Sequel to 'Breaking the Rules'). An old enemy and a new enemy get together and cause trouble for Buffy and Xander. Can Buffy and Xander's relationship stand the strain?
1. Part One

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Mirror Mirror

Part One

Written by: Joanne W

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Summary: An old enemy and a new enemy get together to cause trouble between Buffy and Xander.  
**Rating:** **R** for violence and language.  
**Disclaimer:** Anything or anyone you know to be from Buffy belongs to Joss Whedon and all his little friends. Anything or anyone else that I've blatantly made up belongs to me.   
**Author's Notes:** This fic starts just after college gets out for the summer so it's set about five months after 'Breaking the 'Rules' ended. Willow and Tara are together, the gang know Spike had a problem biting Willow ('The Initiative') but not about the chip ('BtR' went AU after 'The Initiative') and in my AU Spike never went to the gang for any help. Also notes for British spelling, *'s indicate word emphasis and //'s indicate direct character thoughts. 

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Giles emerged from his kitchen and took a moment to look at the scene in front of him. He smiled.

The only sound being made was by Willow as she tapped away on her laptop. Her girlfriend, Tara, happily had her head buried in one of Giles more dustier and thicker volumes. Xander was sitting down with Buffy curled up in his lap as they both read from the same book.

He then took another moment to enjoy the silence. 

Then an "Ooh, gross!" from Buffy shattered it.

Xander chimed in with "I bet he doesn't get invited back after parties"

Giles sighed //Of course a nice silent research gathering would be too much to ask for// "What are you talking about?" he asked, walking over to the couple.

Buffy handed him the book "Him" she said "One-eyeball-guy."

Giles sighed again "Buffy, you're supposed to be researching Takker demons. Not the eating habits of a Unon demon."

"Well we couldn't find anything on Takker demons in this book," Buffy stated "So we just kept on reading about other ones. I mean, you always say I should know more of my potential enemies."

"Did you not think of maybe getting another book?" Giles raised an eyebrow.

"Well that would have meant getting up" Buffy replied and promptly snuggled back further against Xander "But" she indicated the book Giles still held "You could go get us another one" Buffy added a small pout for good measure.

Giles rolled his eyes and mumbled something under his breath before he headed over to the bookcase.

Willow then turned to Buffy and Xander "Hey, do you two mind if me and Tara don't head back with you tonight?"

"Sure" Xander shrugged.

"No problem" Buffy added. "Why?"

Willow cleared her throat "Um, no reason just-" Willow glanced across at Tara who flushed pink and buried her head back in her book. Willow looked back to Buffy who were trying unsuccessfully to stop the grins spreading even further on their faces. Willow rolled her eyes. "Oh please, like you two never sneak off for-"

"Ahem" Giles coughed pointedly.

Buffy rolled her eyes at Giles before taking the book he was holding out for her. "Tell me again Giles" she said, "Why are we actually researching these guys? It couldn't possibly be because things are so slow demonwise around here lately that you're just trying to find us something to do, could it?"

"No" Giles replied a little too quickly.

"Thought so" Buffy replied giving him a small smile.

Giles sighed resignedly and took the book back off Buffy "Yes, alright. I just thought that it might be nice to spend some time together that's all."

Willow flipped her laptop shut and went to sit next to Tara, who had put her book aside "Well why didn't you just say that then?" Willow said.

"Yeah, I coulda brought more food if I'd have known you just wanted to party" Xander said, "I mean, you only sprung for *one* pizza"

Giles just looked at Xander "That's *one* more than you paid for when we had the last gathering at your apartment"

Xander gave him an indignant look "Hey, I *cooked*"

"That food was microwaved" Willow pointed out "Hardly constitutes *cooking*"

"*And* it was *me* who microwaved it" Buffy added, elbowing Xander gently in the ribs.

"Yes, the skill it must take to push a button" Giles said dryly. He looked around at them all and sighed "You all want to go don't you?"

"Well… Willow and I had a-a… thing planned" Tara said "But I guess we could stay a-a little longer. I mean if you wanted us to…"

"No, no" Giles said "You two go do your… thing" he turned to Buffy and Xander "What about you two?"

Buffy waved goodbye to Willow and Tara who had made an exceedingly rapid exit before speaking to Giles "I was going to do a quick sweep of the graveyards, y'know, see if anything undead was hopefully lurking about"

"That's my little Slayer" Xander said, wrapping his arms around her waist

Buffy smiled at Xander's remark "But we can stay" she said to Giles "I mean, you haven't beaten us at Monopoly recently, and you know how you love to complain that even then you can't play it properly without the British street names"

"You really want to go don't you?" Giles said.

"Uh..."

"OK, Buffy" Giles said "You patrol, but I actually did want to talk to Xander about something."

Xander raised his eyebrows "You want to talk to *me*? What about?"

"Well i-it's kind of, um, personal" Giles replied a little awkwardly.

"Ooh guy chat" Buffy said "Riveting" she planted a kiss on Xander's lips before getting up off his lap. She turned to Giles "Don't keep him too long. I have plans for him" she kissed Xander again "Meet you back at yours in an hour?"

Xander grinned and kissed her back deeply for confirmation.

"When you've quite finished" Giles said.

Buffy grinned back at Xander and gave them both a little wave before she left.

"OK, what's up? " Xander said, "What did you want to say to me that you couldn't in front of Buffy?"

Giles ran his hand through his hair and sat a little forward in his seat "When did you last speak to Ren?"

"Um, I got a postcard from her that had a fat, naked French woman on it about a month after she left" Xander replied "But I haven't *spoken* to her since she left" Xander paused "Why?" he then asked carefully.

"I haven't spoken to her either and I got the same postcard, but..." he trailed off and reached behind him, pulling a couple of folded up sheets of paper from his back pocket "I got a letter from her a week ago" Giles offered the letter to Xander who got up to take it "I guessed since you hadn't said anything, that you hadn't had one"

Xander sat back down and unfolded the letter "What does she say?" he asked before beginning to read.

Giles cleared his throat "She's not, uh, she says she's not, um, coming back"

Xander glanced up quickly from the letter to stare at Giles "What?"

"She says she doesn't think it would be a-a very good idea."

Xander turned back to reading the letter. He read it carefully before folding it up and giving it back to Giles "I don't get it" he said, "She just doesn't 'think it would be a good idea'?" Xander sank back into his seat "Why didn't she write and tell *me*. I would have thought she would have at least done that."

"I suspect you already know why Xander" Giles said as he caught the younger man's eye "It couldn't have been easy for her... leaving like that."

Xander dropped his eyes "So you..."

"Yes, Xander" Giles cut in "I may have to wear glasses but it didn't mean I couldn't see what was going on between you two. She cared an awful lot about you Xander, an awful lot…"

"Yeah" Xander said quietly. He ran his hand through his hair "I can't believe she's not coming back. I mean, she promised you Christmas."

"I know."

Xander sighed "I miss her."

"Me too"

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(Later that evening)

Using her key, Buffy entered Xander's apartment and found Xander sitting on his couch staring at the television. Her brow creased a little when she realised the television wasn't on.

She sat down next to him and placed her hand on his knee "What's up?" she asked.

Xander turned to her and gave her a small smile "Just thinking."

"Uh huh" Buffy gave him a knowing look. "OK, what did Giles say to you?"

"He had a letter. From Ren. Basically… she's not coming back."

"Oh" Buffy took his hand in hers "Uh… I really don't know what to say to that."

"I'm not expecting you to say anything" Xander said gently, "I know you didn't like her. I just thought you… should know."

Buffy turned and pulled Xander to her so they both lay lengthways along the couch. Xander didn't resist and leant back against Buffy who moved her legs so Xander sat between them. Buffy then wrapped her arms around him and leant back into the couch. 

Resting her chin on his shoulder she spoke quietly "You feel guilty about missing her don't you?"

Xander sighed deeply "Yeah. A little."

"Hmm. Thought so."

Xander turned his head so he could meet her eyes "Hmm? I just admitted I miss my ex and you go *hmm*?"

"She was also your *friend*, Xander. What? Did you expect me to get all insecure?" she brushed a lock of hair off his forehead "Not going to happen. Been there, done that. Jealousy is not one of my more attractive features" she smiled "I know you love *me*"

Xander held her look "Without question" Xander pried an arm free then twisted around a little so he could reach behind her, cupping the back of her head and gently pulling her closer and pressed his lips against hers.

When they broke away from each other, Xander twisted back around and settled back against Buffy again "I bet I'm one of the few guys who can sit like this with his girlfriend"

"Yeah, and not many guys get their girlfriends carrying them into the bedroom either."

"That was just once. I hurt my foot remember?"

"So you say" Buffy said lightly "And anyway, I thought the hero always did that for damsels in distress."

"So I'm a damsel now?"

"Totally."

"Oh. I don't have to wear the puffy skirts and corsets do I?"

"Only if you feel you need to"

Xander laughed softly and rested his head gently back against her shoulder. He took one of Buffy's hands and threaded his fingers through hers "Thanks. It means a lot that you understand."

Buffy kissed the top of his head "Anytime."

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(One Week Later)

Xander stood in the centre of the room with his eyes closed and his hand outstretched. A hand, into which, he then felt a cool, glass object being placed.

"OK" Willow said, "You can look now"

Xander opened his eyes and looked dubiously at the small vial of purple liquid that had been placed into his palm "Uh... OK, I give up. What is it?"

"It's a present," Willow said.

Xander looked between Willow and Tara "Uh... thanks?"

"It's the focus for your incendiary spell" Tara explained "It took some work but" she smiled at Willow then looked back to Xander "Willow and I finally managed to figure out what your friend Ren put in it"

Xander smiled "You guys did this for me?"

"You like it?" Willow said.

"It's great. One thing though" Xander said "Wasn't the last one kinda orangey?"

"I put food colouring in it" Tara said.

"We thought purple was a better colour" Willow added "More magicky."

"O-kaay" Xander said, then he smiled again "Y'know, you two really didn't have to do this. I *have* been practising. I'm getting better."

"Well, we kinda thought that as it was something Ren did for you..." Willow trailed off.

"Ah" Xander said, "It's a cheer me up thing isn't it?"

"More like a momento, really. Y'know- " Tara broke off when Xander's eyes flicked towards her "I don't know. It was Willow's idea," she added quickly.

Willow shot her girlfriend a look and Tara tried to give her an innocent look back. Willow turned to Xander "Actually it was more of a suggestion of Buffy's" she said, "She thought you might like it."

Xander smiled and shook his head lightly "My girlfriend never ceases to amaze me" he paused "Either that or she's tired of me setting fire to the chair."

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(Later that evening)

Tara raised an eyebrow as she caught sight of Buffy and Xander quite happily making out in one of the less secluded areas of the Bronze. She turned to Willow "Do they ever stop doing that?" she asked.

"Not really" Willow replied with a smile "I think that's pretty much all they do"

Tara turned back to look at Buffy and Xander "I guess it's kinda... endearing"

"It wasn't *endearing* when I had to *knock* before I entered my own dorm room" Willow replied "'Cos one time I didn't and I saw body parts I-I really didn't want to"

Tara grinned and took her girlfriend's hand "Come on. Let's leave them to it."

Willow allowed Tara to lead her away to the dance floor, leaving Buffy and Xander to push the boundaries of public decency.

And all this meant that no-one noticed when a hand darted out quickly to grab Buffy's purse that was on the floor by the Slayer's feet and no-one noticed as an item was removed before the purse was replaced.

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(Next morning)

Giles opened his front door to greet Buffy and Xander. He ushered them in. "I was expecting you a little earlier" Giles said as he shut the door.

"Well we would have been" Xander replied "But Buffy was rushing about my apartment this morning looking for her hairbrush" Xander turned to Buffy who made a face "Noo, she couldn't have used *mine*. It had to be her special round one with the nice bristles."

"Oh stop complaining" Buffy said "You've been in a mood all morning."

"I am *not* in a mood" 

"Oh you are so" Buffy retorted.

"I'm just tired."

"I'll say" Buffy replied "You kept tossing and turning all night. *And* stealing all the covers-"

"Do you two *mind*?" Giles interceded "If we could leave domestic squabbles at home"

"We are not squabbling" Buffy said as Xander took a seat on Giles' couch, laid back and closed his eyes.

"Are you planning on doing this the *entire* day?" Giles asked.

"*I'm* not the one in the bad mood" Buffy replied.

Giles rolled his eyes "Well, I can see you two are going to be a lot of help today." 

"Hey, I'm ready and willing here" Buffy said "Just say the word... and I sound a little *too* enthusiastic don't I?"

Giles smiled "A little. It also seems" Giles indicted Xander "That your boyfriend may have fallen asleep."

Buffy sighed and stood infront of Xander "Guess he was tired" she reached out and smoothed some of his hair down off his forehead "He has been working a lot recently."

"Not to mention the fact you two find it hard to keep your hands off one another... what? Don't look at me like that" Giles said "I know perfectly well what you two were doing in my bathroom last week"

Buffy flushed pink "Ah..."

"Yes, if you two *could* refrain from having sex in my home, *especially* when I'm *in* it, I would be most appreciative"

Buffy was still blushing "Sorry, it's just y'know..." she cleared her throat "So… you wanted help with books?"

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(A couple of hours later)

Buffy and Giles had nearly finished transferring books from boxes that Giles still hadn't sorted out from the old Sunnydale High library to new shelving Giles had placed anywhere there had been a space. Willow and Tara had dropped by about five minutes earlier and were currently rooting through Giles assortment of talismans for one that would be a match for a spell.

As soon as Buffy had put her last book away she heard Xander stirring "Typical" she said under her breath "Falls asleep and gets out of the work"

Buffy went over to her boyfriend ready to point this out to him when Xander sat up suddenly, his eyes wide and he was out of breath slightly. He looked around him quickly and seeing Buffy he jumped up and hugged her tightly.

The others turned to look at him as he did this and Buffy, although taken by surprise, held on to him "Hey honey" she said softly "What's wrong?"

Xander pulled back from her slightly and glanced quickly around at the others before setting his gaze back on her "I-I… sorry… I just had a weird dream… then just… I needed to-to hold you."

Buffy kept her arms around Xander's waist "You had a bad dream?" she asked.

"No, not… bad, just… weird" Xander replied.

"You OK?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah sure" Xander nodded "I'm just gonna get a drink" and he pulled away from her and headed into the kitchen.

Buffy glanced at the others before heading to the kitchen after Xander. She came to his side and took the glass of water he had just poured himself out of his hand and put it on the counter, then she turned him around to face her.

"*What's* wrong?" she asked quietly "What did you dream about?"

Xander exhaled deeply "It was like… It-it wasn't so much like it had a plot to it or anything, just… flashes of images, y'know pictures and feelings. You were there" he said softly "But there was something wrong… like you weren't *all* there or something"

"That's why you hugged me when you woke up?" she asked and Xander nodded "Is this the same reason you couldn't sleep last night?"

Xander shrugged but Buffy saw the look in his eyes. She pulled him into a hug "You can tell me these things you know?" Buffy said softly "It's not like I don't have weird dreams occasionally"

Xander pulled back from "Thanks" he said and smiled, and then he leaned in and kissed her firmly on the mouth. Buffy raised her arms so she could wrap them around his neck and returned the kiss with fervour.

Giles turned to Willow and Tara, who were politely not looking at the couple now kissing passionately in the kitchen. He sighed "If they disappear to the bathroom, would one of you two tell me?"

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(Meanwhile)

Across town in a rather luxurious apartment and furnished accordingly, a women sat cross-legged on her sitting room floor. She gazed at her reflection in a mirror that was situated a few feet in front of her, as if committing her image to memory. 

"Damn I'm gorgeous" Tay said, then grinned at herself in the mirror and her blue eyes glittered eerily back at her "Hair's too short though" she then added, pulling gently at her short ebony hair "Have to find something to do about that"

Tay drew her gaze away from her reflection stood up. She wandered over to her kitchen counter and picked up the item she'd had stolen last night from the Slayer. Tay pulled a few strands of blond hair from the brush and grinned again "DNA sample. Check" she threw the brush in the rubbish bin and carried the hair at arms length before she dropped it into a bowl of liquid on her windowsill "Only a few more things to go and we're in the home straight"

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(A few weeks later)

"OK... mmm... Xander, you're gonna... mmm... haveta stop... doing that" Buffy's request lacked even more conviction when she tilted her head, allowing Xander even more exposed neck to plant kisses on "I have to... mmm lower... study this... for Giles" Buffy's eyes flicked momentarily to the books that had lain untouched for the past fifteen minutes.

"Can't you... study... at the... same... time?" Xander asked between kisses.

Buffy leaned back against Xander who was seated behind her on the floor "Not... really"

"And... there I was... thinking you... could multi... task" Xander began to kiss along her jaw line "Maybe I ... should stop"

"Stopping... would be..." Buffy stopped as Xander finally reached her lips and placed a soft kiss on them "Good" she exhaled deeply "So good" Buffy twisted around so she was kneeling and facing Xander. She placed her hands on his shoulders before leaning in to press her mouth firmly against his. Xander began to straighten his legs and Buffy moved to straddle him and then gently push him further back against the side of the chair, all the while keeping their lips working together. Xander reached up behind Buffy with both hands and began to slowly untie the strings of her halter-top when he heard the door open.

"Oh for..." Willow said loudly.

"Uh... hey Will " Xander said as he quickly retied Buffy's straps "Thought you were going to be, uh, gone for longer"

Buffy turned around to face her, a sheepish grin on her face. Willow looked at them both with raised eyebrows "Change of plans" Willow said "And I thought *you* were supposed to be working" she added, looking at Xander.

"I was" Xander replied "*But* I thought I'd stop by in my lunch hour and see my gorgeous girlfriend" 

"And he got promoted" Buffy told Willow then turned to grin at Xander "We were celebrating" she said before turning back to Willow.

"So I saw," Willow said with a smile "So Xander, what does that make you now?"

"Something like senior waiter guy. All I know is, I no longer have to wash dishes and that I get more money. And" he looked at his watch "I have to be getting back to my new and improved job" he stood up then turned and pulled Buffy to her feet "I'll see you later?"

Buffy nodded "Bronze at nine?"

"Bronze at nine" Xander confirmed then planted a quick kiss on her forehead before he started for the door. "Catch ya later Will."

"Buffy" Willow asked after Xander had left "Can I ask you a question?"

Buffy sat back down on the floor "Sure."

"What's with you and Xander lately?"

Buffy's brow creased a little in confusion "Huh?"

"Y'know, with the... well you seem uh... more 'loved up' than usual"

"That's probably because we're *in* *love* Willow" Buffy pointed out "Aren't we *supposed* to want to be with each other?"

"Yeah, of course" Willow assured her "It's just… I don't know" Willow continued a little hesitantly "It's like you're trying to prove something... to yourself…" she trailed off and asked carefully "Is this about Ren?"

Buffy sighed "No, it's not."

"So it's about *something* then?"

"It's not... its not..." Buffy sighed "About anything," she said quietly.

Willow sat down "I didn't mean to pry Buffy"

Buffy sighed again "No, you're right."

Willow's lips twisted in a small smile "I know I'm right Buff. I just... didn't mean to pry" she took a breath "Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Oh. OK, if you don't-" Willow replied and went to stand up but Buffy began talking again.

"You remember he had that dream a few weeks ago?" Buffy said.

Willow sat back down "Uh huh"

"I think he's been having them since then."

"You think? I mean… he hasn't told you?"

"No" a sad look crossed over Buffy's face "He hasn't"

"So what makes you think that he's been having them?" Willow asked.

"Since he first had it... if that *was* the first time... but since *I* first knew about it, every time we've woken up together either at home or at his, I've found him holding me. Like really holding me. I mean he's been asleep but obviously he's woken in the night and managed to wrap himself around me" Buffy paused "It's not like I don't mind him doing that... it's nice... but kinda a little un-nerving"

"Un-nerving?" Willow repeated and Buffy nodded "Obviously you haven't talked to him about this?" Willow asked.

Buffy shook her head "I can't understand why he won't tell me if he *is* having the dream. I told him that he could tell me if he was."

"Well... maybe he isn't then" Willow offered "Maybe it's something else " Willow paused "Actually that doesn't really explain why you two have been the way you have."

"I figured that if he didn't want to say anything to me" Buffy explained "That I could, y'know, let him know that I *was* here for him, just-"

"Just in other ways?" Willow finished "Buffy, that's not really solving anything."

"I know."

"Look Buffy, you *have* to *talk* to him. At least if you don't get him to admit if he *is* having these dreams, then at least *if* he is he'll know that you've noticed" Willow paused "If that makes sense"

"I get you Will" Buffy gave her friend a small smile

"Well *good*" Willow replied firmly. "Now, what have we got so far on these guys?" she asked, changing the subject and gesturing to the books that were in front of Buffy "Did you find an easier way of killing these demons or do we have to do it the messy way?"

"Uh, so far it seems the messy way is the only way" Buffy handed Willow a book and indicated a passage "And it's got to be done with a special knife thingy which Giles said he doesn't have. He's going to try and find one."

Willow read the text that Buffy had pointed out and her lips curled a little in disgust "Y'know I don't see why all demons can't just be nice and tidy when they die. Why do some have to explode with all kinds of goo and crap? I mean, why can't they all take their cues from vampires? Y'know, all *they* do is leave a little dust. You just brush it off and you're set."

Buffy smiled "Yeah, it's a real bitch not being able to claim for dry cleaning expenses. Oh, which reminds me" Buffy added, "You haven't by any chance seen my blue vest top have you? Y'know the knitted one with the lilac hem?"

"The one which you told me if I borrowed it without asking that you'd beat me into a bloody pulp, but… in a *nice* way?"

"That's the one. So, have you borrowed it?"

"I think I answered that with my previous sentence Buffy."

"Oh right" Buffy frowned "Well then, that makes the fifth item of clothing the laundry goblins have taken over the past month."

"You sure you haven't just misplaced them?" Willow asked.

"Uh uh" Buffy shook her head "I've looked *everywhere*. I even ventured into the pit of despair that is Xander's closet and nada."

"You think someone *stole* them?"

Buffy shrugged "All I know is, they were there and then they weren't. Anyway, doesn't matter. I can always get more. It's just annoying that's all" Buffy sighed and picked up a book "OK. Beska demons. Now where was I…"

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Tay dropped her book when she heard the door to her apartment being opened "Wait a sec!" she called out as she jumped up and went to close the blinds. She drew the last one just as her guest shut the door behind himself.

"Ooh, looking out for me well bein'?" he said, "I'm touched"

Tay turned around to face her companion "Well being my arse" she retorted "I just don't wanna be sweeping you off my rug."

"Now *that* I don't believe" Spike said. He strode forward and swept Tay into his arms "You never sweep" Spike pressed his lips to hers and initiated a passionate kiss. 

Tay was the first to break away "So peroxide boy, whatcha got for me today?"

Spike grinned "Somethin' I *know* you're going to like". He reached into his pocket and produced a package heavily swathed in a thick cloth "This" he said, pressing it into Tay's hand "I happen to know she got as a present."

"What is it?" Tay asked, pulling away from his hold and examining the parcel.

"Necklace. Silver cross."

"That explains the unorthodox wrapping" Tay said, taking the necklace out of the wrapping and ignoring Spike's grimace. She smiled and then deftly tossed the package into a wooden box about ten feet away "Nice work" Tay grinned at him "*And* hopefully it should be the last thing I need you to get"

"Good. I was gettin' bored of stealing the Slayer's crap" Spike sniffed "Don't see why you couldn't have got it"

"Spike, you know I can't risk being seen."

"And *I* can?"

"Hey, I pay you with *lots* of money *as* *well* as sexual favours for doing this"

"I hadn't forgotten" Spike raised an eyebrow suggestively.

"Yeah? Well stop whinging then," Tay said, pressing herself up against him "You're taking all the fun out of this."

Spike wrapped his arms around her waist "Fun? I thought you were doin' this for some kind of bizarre and twisted kind of revenge"

"I am," she said, her eyes glittering "But mostly it'll just be fun."

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(Later that evening)

Telling Xander a little white lie that she had a headache and really didn't want to go to the Bronze that evening, Buffy had suggested that she and him spend a quiet night together at his apartment. Now she sat curled up beside him on his couch, not paying attention to the movie but wondering when would be the best time to broach the subject Willow had brought up earlier.

Buffy snuggled up more against him and Xander dropped his arm from the back of the couch to rest on Buffy's shoulders.

"Buffy?" Xander's voice cut through her thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"Can I talk to you about something?"

Buffy pulled back slightly and flicked her eyes up to meet Xander's //That's supposed to be my line this evening//

"Uh… OK. Sure" Buffy sat up straighter "What's up?"

"I've been stupid. I've not told you something and I really should have" Xander took a deep breath "That dream I had about you… at Giles… I've had it again a few times since then. I know you said that I should tell you when I think about things like that but I … I wasn't quite sure how and… and… why are you smiling?"

"I was uh… going to talk to you about the same thing" Buffy admitted "I had kinda guessed that something was wrong" Buffy took hold of one of his hands "I kept waking up to finding you wrapped around me and after what you said and did the first time you had the dream…"

"I didn't realise I'd been doing that" Xander said, "I guess it must have been on a subconscious level or something" he gave her a small grin "Hope I didn't scare you or anything like that"

"Gee, I don't know. I mean having my gorgeous, naked boyfriend holding me kinda frightens me a little bit" she gave him a grin.

Xander relaxed a little "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier" he said, "I guess I'm an idiot"

"Hey I should have mentioned about you and the holding. I'm an idiot too."

"Idiots together."

"Idiots in love" Buffy added.

Buffy flashed him a brilliant smile and Xander laughed "You're the best girlfriend ever" he said.

"Well of course" Buffy shuffled herself into his lap. She looked him in the eyes and held his gaze, bringing her hand up to cup his cheek "And you're the best thing to happen to me" she said with all seriousness.

Xander's eyes shone "Buffy…"

"Xander, I love you. More than anything. What you're having is just a dream. I'm here. All of me OK? I'm not going anywhere" Buffy placed a soft kiss on his forehead "Ever."

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(Next Morning)

Xander woke and rolled over in bed onto his side so he was facing Buffy, who was still asleep. Xander propped himself up on his elbow so he was resting his head in his hand. He reached out with his free hand and brushed a few strands of blonde hair off of her forehead. Buffy stirred a little but didn't wake. Xander smiled //Man, if I knew four years ago I could be in this position and so happy I would have given anything to fast forward to this moment//

Then Buffy's eyes fluttered open and she smiled when she saw Xander gazing at her.

"Morning gorgeous" he said with a smile.

"Mmm, morning" Buffy replied, stretching a little "How did you sleep?"

"I slept great" Xander said honestly and Buffy smiled "I still dreamt about you" he admitted "But it was a different kind of dream" Xander grinned "It involved whipped cream and handcuffs"

"Was there chocolate?" Buffy grinned back.

"It would have been sacrilege for there not to have been."

Buffy hugged the covers to her chest and sat up "OK, you've made me hungry now"

"Really? Y'know I may have some whipped-"

Buffy batted his arm playfully "No" she interrupted "I meant real food. Breakfast."

Xander pouted "Spoilsport."

"Look, you go grab a shower and I'll fix something for us both, OK?"

About five minutes later Xander stepped out of the shower. He had just out a towel a round his middle when he heard a muffled explosion and a shriek from Buffy.

Xander raced to the kitchen only to find Buffy standing there, her hair tied back in an untidy ponytail and wearing one of his shirts, and covered in whatever had decided to leap from the blender and splatter her and the rest of his kitchen.

Xander suppressed a smile "Having fun?" he asked, trying to sound innocent.

Buffy turned around and tried to look composed "Just having a slight problem."

"Blender playing up again, huh?"

Buffy pushed some of her gunk-covered hair off her face "It might have done."

Xander failed in trying to hold back a smirk "You… look good" Xander started giggling.

"Don't make me hurt you" Buffy took a step closer to him.

When Xander continued to laugh, Buffy couldn't help but crack a small smile "It's not funny" she said, albeit unconvincingly.

Xander's laughter died off a bit so he could speak "Sorry, Buff. You just look so… cute."

"Cute?"

Xander smiled "Yup" his voice then took on a more sincere tone "You look great"

"Huh?" Buffy was confused by the way Xander was looking at her. There she was, standing in the kitchen looking the worst she had done for a while and her boyfriend was looking at her like she was a million dollars.

"Wait there, OK?" Xander said "Just hold that… pose. I'll be back in a minute" and Xander turned and headed into the bedroom.

"Xander-"

"And close your eyes" he called out.

Buffy sighed and closed her eyes "You better not be getting a camera" she called back.

A minute later Xander stood back in front of Buffy "OK, you can open them now" he told her.

Buffy opened her eyes to look at a now jean clad Xander holding out a small, beautifully wrapped gift "For me?" she asked. Xander nodded and Buffy took it from his hand "What is it?"

"Open it."

Buffy grinned at him and set about undoing the wrapping, eventually to find a small jewellery box. Buffy gasped "Xander…"

"Open it" Xander repeated.

Buffy dropped the gift wrap onto the floor and popped open the lid of the box "Oh Xander they're beautiful" she gushed as she saw the small diamond, cross-shaped earrings "They really are. And this" she took the other item out and set the box carefully down on the counter "Is just gorgeous" Buffy went to place the item on one of the digits on her right hand when Xander caught hold of her wrist and gently took it out of her hand.

"Wrong finger" he said quietly and took hold of her other hand and pushed the ring half way down on to the third finger of her left hand "This is the right one"

"Wha…?" Buffy flicked her eyes up to Xander's "Xan… I… wha… huh?"

Xander smiled, before dropping down to one knee "Buffy, will you marry me?"

Buffy's eyes dropped to the ring. It was an intricately crafted white gold band with a row of three tiny diamonds along the top. She looked back to Xander "I… Xan… I… wha… marry? I… you want… I…"

"OK" Xander said and stood up "I can see forming words is a problem for you at the moment." 

"Mmm huh" Buffy managed to get out.

Xander smiled again "So let's try this another way" he looked into her eyes "You can either nod to this question or choose a non-violent way to say no" Xander took hold of her left hand "Do you want me to push this ring the rest of the way down?"

Buffy stared back at him, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. She sniffed quietly then a stupid grin spread over her face and she nodded her head.

An equally stupid grin then broke out on Xander's face "You mean you will?"

Buffy nodded again "Yes" she looked down and watched as Xander put the ring the rest of the way onto her finger. "I can't believe this is happening" Buffy's eyes smiled back into Xander's "I love you"

"Love you too" Xander replied. He cupped Buffy's cheek and removed some of the blender goop from her face, gazing lovingly at her "I'm never letting you go."

-------------------

__

(Meanwhile)

After moving the last piece of furniture and taking up the rug to expose the bare floorboards, Tay set about marking on the floor with chalk. Soon she had drawn two circles. They were exactly a metre apart and both one metre in diameter. Around one of circle's rims she alternated black and white, small, unlit candles before placing all the items that Spike had taken from the Slayer into the centre of that circle.

Tay stood back and admired her handiwork "Now for the tricky part" she said out loud to herself.

"They say speaking to yourself is a sign of madness" she heard a male voice from behind her say.

"At least I know someone's listening" Tay replied. She turned around to face Spike and crossed her arms infront of her chest "Where have you been?"

"Out."

"Yeah, well while you were *out* we had a *very* *interesting* development"

"What has our favourite couple done now?"

"I saw on the monitor from the hidden camera. They just got engaged."

Spike laughed "Oh this just gets *better* and *better*"

-------------------

__

(A little later that day)

Tay was kneeling on the floor in the space between the two circles she had drawn. She was drawing out magical runes and pagan symbols in a line, which there were going to be six of running between the two circles.

Spike was standing behind her and had been admiring the view he was getting before boredom finally took him and he sighed loudly and pointedly. Spike hated how he was relying on Tay to give him things to do. Most of all he hated how this was a bloody good plan and it hadn't been him who had thought of it. But Spike, being Spike, wasn't going to throw away the chance get rid of the bratty little Slayer once and for all. So this was why now, when Tay stood up and turned around to face him, he whined.

"Tay, I've been standing here doing nothing for the last hour. Can't you at least give me something to do?" 

"Spike, I told you to check out the monitors."

"I did" he said "And they were shagging *again*. Like bloody rabbits those two are. It's not really something I want to sit down with a mug of blood and watch."

"Tough. You're not helping me" Tay turned back around and began to continue with her task.

Spike crossed the room and knelt in front of her "Oh come on. The sooner we get this done the sooner we can party"

Tay groaned in exasperation "Spike, I'm trying to concentrate here."

Spike indicated the lines she was inscribing "All you're doing is copying out the same stuff six times. I can do *that*"

"Did you not hear me earlier when I said *I* had to do all the spell stuff, huh? If I let anyone else inscribe or chant or anything to help with this then it *won't* *work* *properly*. Spike, trust me, I've being doing these kind of enhancement spells since before you were alive *and* undead" 

Spike stood up and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans "I *really* don't like your attitude sometimes" he sniffed "You came to *me* for help first remember?"

Tay looked up at him "No Spike. Not *help*. I offered you an *opportunity*" Tay stood up and stepped over the lines of symbols then took another step so she was nose to nose with Spike "I could've got anyone to do this with me but I chose you. D'ya know why? Because I've never seen *anyone* with such a hard on for seeing a Slayer's despair, humiliation and subsequent demise. Sure I've met vamps and other demons who want to see her sort dead" Tay smiled "But *you've* got something they don't Spike"

"A hard on?" he grinned.

Tay rolled her eyes "Spike" she said "What you have is dedication to a cause. I admire that. A goal in unlife is good."

"Yeah, well how 'bout giving me something to do to help achieve this goal then?"

Tay stepped carefully back over the lines she had been drawing and knelt down again "Check out the monitors again. Find out what the Watcher and the witches are up to."

Spike cheered up "Oooh, I like watching the lesbians"

"You *would*" Tay sighed "Great, I'm stuck with a voyeuristic vampire."

"Oh come on. You know you love me really."

"Oh *bite* me"

"Tempting, but… no" Spike took his hands out of his pockets and cracked his knuckles "Right then… lesbians…." And with that Spike left the room.

Tay put down her chalk and squeezed the bridge of her nose with her fingers "Dedication to a cause he may have…" she muttered to herself "Lets just hope I'm not making a huge mistake"

-------------------

__

(An hour and a half later)

Tay had finished marking out the six lines and was just placing the last few candles around the second circle when Spike sauntered back into the room. She looked up at him "Anything interesting?"

"No. Bloody witches just sat there pouring over some books. The Watcher too"

"The other two still at it?"

Spike grimaced "Yeah, they were being inventive with whipped cream."

Tay placed the last candle and stood up "Hmm. I prefer ice-cream myself."

Spike grinned and grabbed Tay's wrist, pulling her into his arms "Y'know we have a few hours to kill before sunset luv"

Tay grinned back and brushed a light kiss over his lips "Sounds nice. But, unfortunately Spike, that time will be filled with me performing the spell. And *you* will have to find somewhere *else* to be"

"Like where? Its still sunny out."

"Not my problem Spike" she pulled away from him and grabbed his shoulders, spinning him around before guiding him to the door "I'll be done at sunset" Tay told him, taking one hand away to open the door. She shoved Spike through the door "You can come back then" she told him before shutting the door in his face and turning the key to lock it.

Tay brushed her hands together //OK not strictly true that he couldn't be here. Just him being gone makes it easier for me to get this bit over with//. Tay looked over what she had set up. The two circles one metre apart with the six symbolic lines of transfer that ran between them were still intact. All the things that had belonged to Buffy were in one circle while the other was empty. Tay picked up Spike's duster that he had unfortunately not taken before she manoeuvred him out of the apartment. Rummaging around in one of the pockets she found the lighter that she was looking for. 

She knelt by the circle that contained Buffy's things and lit only the white candles that lined the circle, leaving the black ones untouched. When she was finished she smoothed her clothes out and tucked her now slightly longer dark hair behind her ears, before sitting crossed legged in the other circle. Tay closed her eyes and began the spell.

-------------------

Buffy twisted the ring around on her finger, a bright smile on her face "So we tell the others our good news when we get back to Giles'?" Buffy asked and cast a sidelong look at Xander as they patrolled together through the graveyard. The other members of the gang were patrolling the other side of the resting ground.

"Uh huh. We tell them. Willow faints. Tara will fan her back in to consciousness. I suspect Giles will take off his glasses, polish them and put them back on before actually saying anything."

"You have it all worked out, don't you?" Buffy said, "OK well, I don't think Willow will faint but she will make those high-pitched noises she does that only dogs can hear. But you're definitely right about Giles. But they'll be OK. My mom didn't get violent now did she?" Buffy stopped walking but still held onto Xander's hand so he had to stop too "Xander can I ask you a question?"

"Well I've already asked mine for the day…"

Buffy grinned "Yeah, that was a gooood question. But now I get to ask mine. *Exactly* how long have you been waiting to propose?"

Xander grinned back sheepishly "Uh… since this morning."

"Since this morning?" Buffy repeated "No planning?" Xander shook his head. Buffy blinked "But you… you had the ring and everything." 

Xander put his hands on Buffy's shoulders and looked into her eyes "I wasn't planning on proposing this morning, that's true," he admitted "And… yes, um the ring was only going to be a gift. But" he smiled "After what you said last night… well, when you went to put the ring on the other hand first I had like a… um… OK I can't think what's called right now, but I had one and basically I just thought 'Gee that ring would look good on the other hand'. Then 'Gee Buffy would make a really cool fiancée'. Then it finished with 'Gee, she'd make an even better wife'" Xander took his hands of her shoulders and cupped either side of her face, gently tilting her face up to his "And I know that was a lot of 'Gee's', but Buffy, I may not have planned it" he smiled fondly "But I sure as hell don't regret it"

Buffy blinked back tears and a bright smile broke out on her face "Y'know they're all going to say we're to young to do this, don't you?"

Xander took his hands from her face and held her waist instead "Probably" he replied "Does it matter?"

"No" Buffy wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest.

-------------------.

"I really didn't think I'd be catching the live show tonight" Spike said turning to Tay as they watched the other couple from a distance "How much longer do I have to put up with that before you do your bit?"

Tay looked at her watch "It's five minutes before eleven o'clock. So I'm guessing five minutes."

-------------------

Buffy pulled back from Xander "Come on" she said, "We still have to patrol"

Xander smiled and took hold of one of her hands and they began to walk again. They got about ten yards when Xander took a look at his watch "Hey it's now eleven. Do you want to head over to the others?"

"Sure, we can-"

Suddenly a blue flash of light appeared from behind one of the nearby mausoleums, causing the surrounding area to now be bathed in an eerie light.

"I'm going to take a wild guess here and say that's not good" Buffy stated.

Buffy took a few steps towards the source of the light "I can't hear anything" she said. Buffy turned back to Xander "I'm going to check it out."

"Be careful."

"Always am" Buffy headed over towards the mausoleum cautiously.

Xander watched as Buffy disappeared behind the stone structure. He didn't immediately hear any sounds of distress or sound that indicated any fighting of any sort. But he also didn't hear any thing from Buffy to say that everything was all right. 

"Honey?" Xander called out as he took a few steps towards the mausoleum. He'd learnt the hard way that, although Buffy thought it was sweet that he wanted to throw himself infront of any projectiles that might head her way, she'd rather have a boyfriend that didn't have more holes than he really needed. He'd learnt the hard way because he really didn't think she'd follow through on her threat of knocking him unconscious. He'd had the bump for two days.

"Buffy?" Xander took a few steps nearer, and then he heard her voice from behind the mausoleum.

"Nothing here Xander. But we need to get Gil-" The sound of Buffy's voice was cut short by a loud, thunderous sound and a bright blue flash of light happening simultaneously. Xander was catapulted back a few feet by the force of the explosion ricocheting out from behind the mausoleum where Buffy was.

Xander hit the ground with a hard thump. He had heard Buffy yell out even above the sound. Xander got to his feet and rushed towards the stone structure that now had blue static electricity like waves dancing around it. But before he even got to call out her name a second explosion happened and Xander was thrown back again. His head hit against something hard and he felt waves of blackness start to swim before his eyes.

-------------------

When Willow, Tara and Giles saw the blue light flare up from Buffy and Xander's side of the graveyard they all exchanged worried looks before hurrying quickly across the graveyard towards the other couple, arriving in time to see Xander get thrown back by the second blast.

"Xander!" Willow cried out and rushed over to her friend. Xander had slipped into unconsciousness. "Oh god, Xander."

Tara and Giles came quickly to her side. Giles gently nudged Willow to out of the way and Giles checked Xander's pulse and breathing.

"He'll be all right," Giles said, "Stay with him while I see if I can find Buffy." Giles cast his eyes on the mausoleum that still had the blue flickering lights around it, even thought they were gradually dying away. 

Giles stood up, pulling a crossbow from the weapons bag as he did so. He took a few steps towards the mausoleum when the lights suddenly stopped and disappeared altogether, leaving them with just moonlight to see by. "Buffy!" Giles called out. He didn't get an answer. Giles quickly ventured a little nearer "Buffy!" he called out again. Giles didn't hear anything at first, but then he heard what sounded like groaning. He hurried around to the other side of the stone building "Buffy?"

"Uggghhh. I'm OK. I don't think anything is broken. Well I can feel all my limbs and fingers and toes so I take it that's good. Did I mention I hate getting blown up?"

Giles looked at the person struggling to their feet in front of him "What are *you* doing here?"

"Huh?"

"Not that it's not nice to see you, but why are *you* here" Giles scanned the surrounding area quickly "Where's Buffy? Have you seen her?"

"Huh? What? Giles? What the hell are you talking about?"

Giles gave an exasperated sigh "Have you seen Buffy?"

"Did you get hit on the head or something Giles? I'm right here."

Giles looked at her "Excuse me?"

"I'm. Right. Here" was the reply he got "And where's Xander?"

"What's going on?" Tara asked, coming to Giles side "Where's Buffy?"

Giles looked at Tara and gestured to the female standing in front of them "She seems to think *she* is"

Tara looked at the woman standing in front of her and her brow furrowed in slight confusion "She thinks *she's* Buffy?" Tara repeated.

"Think?! I *am* Buffy. Now where's Xander?"

Giles stared at the person in front of him with apprehension. He turned to Tara; about to tell her to go back to check on Xander and leave himself to deal with this situation, but he noticed Tara's look had changed from one of confusion to one of wonder.

Tara took a step towards the other female, who looked back at her with confusion.

"Uh Tara? What are you doing?" she asked "And why won't anyone tell me where Xander is?"

Tara didn't reply and took another step towards the other woman before stopping and studying her. 

"Tara" Giles asked "What *are* you doing?"

Tara turned back to Giles "I-I think that w-whoever she looks like, is not who she *is*"

"What are you saying?" Giles asked.

"I'm *saying*" Tara said "That I think she might *be* Buffy"

There was a confused look on the other woman's face "What do you mean *might* be. I *am*"

"Giles!" Willow called over to them "He's coming round!"

"Xander?! You never said he was *hurt*!" 

Willow looked up to see who was heading towards her and Xander and her mouth formed an 'o' in surprise. 

The other woman sank to her knees by Xander's side and touched her hand to his cheek "Xander honey" she said softly "It's OK. I'm here."

Xander's eyes fluttered open and he moaned in pain. Then he focused in on the person other than Willow who was kneeling by his side. Confusion washed over his face.

"Ren?" he said in a quiet voice.

Willow heard the other woman opposite her draw in a sharp breath and pull back sharply from Xander. Willow turned to Giles "What's going on here?"

Giles hurried over and pulled the other woman wearing Ren's face to her feet. "It seems we may have a problem" Giles told Willow. He turned the woman he had just helped up around to face him. She had a look of hurt on her face "He didn't just call me what I think he did, did he?" she asked shakily.

"He did" Giles told her "But I don't think… it wasn't his fault" Giles looked quickly at Tara "Are you *sure* about this?" he asked the blonde witch.

"A person's energy has a flow, a unity. Her's is . . . is fragmented. It-it grates, like something forced in where it doesn't belong" Tara explained "I think someone else is in Ren's body. And, judging by the confusion of our reaction to her, I'm ninety-nine percent sure it's *Buffy* who's in it. We *can* check… but I-I don't think we need to… do we?"

Xander groaned as Willow helped him to his feet "Could someone tell me what's going on?"

Giles looked at him "I think you'd better sit back down Xander" he said then he looked at the dark-haired woman in front of him "Buffy… you too"

Xander stared at Giles "Did you just call her *Buffy*?"

"I think they may have switched" Tara explained.

"Switched?" ~Buffy said "What do you mean *switched*?"

"You-you can't be serious? *Switched*" Xander said and stared at ~Buffy "This-this *can't* be happening. This is *not* happening" Xander sat down on a nearby headstone.

"*Switched*?" ~Buffy repeated "Hey! Could *somebody* talk to *me* here?"

Giles laid a hand on her shoulder "Buffy, something has happened to you. You're not quite… *you*"

"What do you mean, not quite *me*?" ~Buffy asked, "I feel like me" she looked down at herself "I mean I look like… like… like… I wasn't wearing these clothes when I came out" she looked back up at Giles "And… and… you're… shorter."

"Actually you're *taller*" Willow explained.

"It's what they've been trying to tell you… us" Xander said in a quiet voice "It's not *your* body you're in" he said, meeting her eyes "It's Ren's"

~Buffy continued to hold his gaze but held out her hand and snapped her fingers "Mirror."

Willow quickly rummaged around in her satchel "Here" she said pulling a small compact out and pressing it into ~Buffy's hand.

~Buffy flipped it open and held it in front of her face. She stared at her reflection for a few long moments before the compact fell from her hand and hit the grass. ~Buffy's breath hitched "No. No, no, no, no, no" her eyes darted wildly "No!" she cried "This is *not* happening! It's not!" ~Buffy put her hand to her mouth to stifle a sob. Then her eyes met back with Xander's. "Xander?" she said in a small voice "This isn't happening, right?"

Xander got up and went to her. He tentatively reached out a hand before cupping her cheek gently "It's happening" Xander said.

~Buffy placed one of her own hands on top of Xander's "But I don't want it to be." 

"It'll be OK" Xander turned to Giles "We can fix this, right?"

Giles ran a hand through his hair "I... I don't-"

"It all depends on the type of spell," Tara said.

Everyone, including ~Buffy, turned to face Tara. The blonde witch wilted a little under their gazes. She wasn't used to being relied upon for her witch knowledge, not to this extent, and it was a little un-nerving. Tara took a deep breath and composed herself //Come on, this is what you do best// She exhaled slowly "OK. You can do this kind of switching bodies thing by using a Draconian katra spell, but that would require the other person, Ren in this case, to actually be in the vicinity. Buffy would actually have seen her" Tara explained "They would have had to touch. The spell requires one of the switchees to be wearing a katra. A small device that normally fits into the palm of the hand."

"B-but I didn't see her" ~Buffy said, "Except Xander, there wasn't anyone else but me here. And no one touched me."

"So what does that mean?" Xander asked, "How did they switch? Did it have something to do with those lights and the explosions?"

"Most probably" Tara replied as she gained confidence "That's why I think it's a Cathanian transfer spell. You can swap up to five people around using this spell. Uh… small items, usually personal ones, which belong to each of the people being swapped, are used to in this. Mainly so that the person or people being switched don't have to be there."

"Do you really think that's what happened?" Willow asked her girlfriend.

"Some of my stuff has been going missing" ~Buffy said before Tara could answer "I thought I was just misplacing it but…" she trailed off. She looked at Xander before looking back to Tara "So Ren could be anywhere wearing my face? Is that what you're saying?"

"Yes" Tara admitted "But she'd *know* what had happened by now. She may be trying to get in touch."

"Yeah. I don't think she liked you enough to want to be stuck in your body" Willow said, trying to put a light tone in her voice.

"Yeah, well I know how she's feeling" ~Buffy said looking down at her new body "It's not my idea of fun either."

"Wait a minute" Xander said "If neither Buffy or Ren need to be near each other to switch, we should just be able to change them back still, shouldn't we?"

Giles exchanged glances with the two witches before turning to Xander and ~Buffy "We might have a-a little problem there" he said " Cathanian spells of any persuasion are extremely difficult to perform. It wouldn't be difficult finding the exact spell, but to enact it would be almost impossible… for us anyway. I don't have the power… the strength. Even Willow or Tara couldn't-" Giles broke off and looked at ~Buffy "Buffy, whoever did this to you is extremely powerful"

"But I thought you said we could fix it" ~Buffy said, pulling away from Xander and turning to Giles "I want it fixed!"

"We *can* fix it" Giles tried to assure her "We just have to find someone who *is* strong enough. I have some people I can call-"

"Yeah, well that's not going to do a lot of good right *now* is it" ~Buffy said angrily. Then she calmed down a little "I'm sorry" she said "I just… I just…" ~Buffy sniffed "This was supposed to be a *good* day" she said quietly and looked down at her hands, scratching at the empty space where the engagement ring would have been. ~Buffy looked at Xander "It's not fair."

"I know it's not" Xander said, pulling her into a hug "But we're going to fix it. Whatever it takes."

-------------------

Shortly after, Giles suggested that they all head home. Giles knew ~Buffy was exhausted, that it must be hard for her. Not just to be in someone else's body, but also because of who's body it was. And Giles also knew that it must be hard on Xander for the same reason. 

As soon as he got home, Giles checked for any messages that Ren may have left. He had told the others to do the same and to call him with whether they had heard anything or not. 

But Giles didn't have any messages. He sighed and sat down heavily on his couch and thought about where the hell he could start to find someone with enough power *and* who would be willing to help them.


	2. Part Two

****

Mirror Mirror

Part Two

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xander didn't really know what to say to ~Buffy. They'd walked in virtual silence, ~Buffy only saying that she didn't want to go back to try and explain things to her mother right now. So they were going back to Xander's apartment.

Xander checked for messages as soon as he got in and ~Buffy sat down on the couch.

Xander heard nothing on his machine. He shot ~Buffy a quick glance. ~Buffy sighed and sank further back into her seat. Xander picked up his phone and dialled Giles' number. It only rang once before the other man picked up.

"Xander?" 

"Yeah, it's me Giles. We have no messages."

"Damn!" 

"I take it you didn't either."

"No. No, neither did Willow or Tara" Xander heard Giles sigh "How's Buffy?" 

"Hard to say. She hasn't said much."

"Buffy's strong Xander. She'll manage. I have no doubts. How are you coping?" 

"I'm totally weirded out. But that's to be expected right?"

"Yes Xander. I'm uh… a little 'weirded' out myself. I've been trying to think of people who I can call but so far … Xander I may have something tomorrow. Willow and Tara are coming round first thing…"

"We'll be there. I can call in sick."

"I'd best be going. Calls to make and such like… I hope… Xander… It'll be fine. We'll fix it"

"I know. Bye Giles" Xander hung up.

"He hasn't heard anything either?" ~Buffy asked. 

Xander shook his head and ~Buffy sighed again before looking down at herself "Obviously she's having a lot more fun in my body than I am in hers" ~Buffy looked back at Xander "Y'know this is not really the way I envisaged today ending. I had plans that didn't involve-" she broke off, seeing a sad look in Xander's eyes "I guess it's hard for you too huh?"

"You mean the fact that my fiancée is wearing the face of my ex?" Xander said with raised eyebrows "Noooo, that's not a problem at all" he ran a hand through his hair "That kinda thing happens everyday."

"Xander, Giles said it can be fixed and I believe him" ~Buffy sat up a little straighter "We've face bigger problems. I *died* once, OK?"

Xander looked at her a little surprised "Buffy, you seem to be… taking this… well, better than earlier."

"I think that before it was mainly shock" she said, "Now it's sunk in a little more… well, I realise it could be worse" ~Buffy stood up and went to stand in front of him "Someone did this" she gestured to herself "To get at me. To get at *us*" ~Buffy's voice was calm "We're not going to let them. I'm not going to let them have the satisfaction."

"You're really not freaking anymore are you?" 

"Well, I am a little" ~Buffy admitted with a small grin "I think it's you who's stopping me from letting it run free" ~Buffy took hold of one of Xander's hands "The main thing is it's me in here. I *know* it's me in here" she tapped the side of her head with her free hand "Ren has entirely left the building"

"How does it feel?" Xander asked, "Does it feel weird?"

"Kinda. I mean, if I touch you" ~Buffy ran her thumb lightly across his left cheek "It's *me* touching you. *I* can feel it. No second hand touch here" she grinned "Plus it's kinda weird being able to look you in the eyes. Sometimes I get a crick in my neck when we're kissing" ~Buffy admitted "But it's cool, I always wanted to be taller."

Xander gave her a half-hearted smile "Yeah. Cool."

~Buffy sighed "It's because I *look* like her isn't it?" she sighed again and waved her free hand in front of his face "Xander, it's *me*, OK? I only *look* like her. I mean, come *on*, *I* would *never* wear *these* pants" ~Buffy indicated her lower apparel and smiled at Xander.

Xander laughed a little "She's probably saying the same thing about *you* right now"

"There's *nothing* wrong with *my* clothes"

"No. Of course not" Xander said quickly then he looked a sadly at ~Buffy "But you know there's one thing she's wearing, that I wish *you* were"

~Buffy smiled sadly "The ring?" she squeezed Xander's hand "It's up here" ~Buffy tapped her head again "I don't need a ring to know you meant what you said Xander" ~Buffy smiled "I love you. That's all that matters."

Xander smiled "All that matters" he said and leant forward and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

~Buffy smiled "No second hand touch remember?" she said. Xander gave her a confused look and Buffy traced the line of his upper lip with her thumb "It's *me* who feels it remember?" ~Buffy cupped his cheek and leaned forward slightly, closing her eyes and brushing her lips against his briefly.

~Buffy pulled back slightly and smiled at him again, looking into his eyes "Do you see me in here Xander?" she asked.

"I can. Sort of" he said looking back at her "There's definitely no Ren in there. But I can see you. It's like Buffy essence" Xander took a step back from her "Definitely an essence" he said again looking at her "Ren always seemed on the defensive, but it's not there anymore. You move like *you*. You speak like *you*-" he broke off and smiled "It's very weird to see"

~Buffy smiled back "I'll bet" she ran her fingers through her hair and yawned "This has been a *big* day Xander" she said, "I-I know we still have a lot more to talk about. But right now" she took his hand "All I want to do is go to sleep and think about all this again in the morning"

"Ah" Xander said "So how do you want to do this?"

"Sleep? Well" ~Buffy said, "I think basically it just involves me lying down and closing my eyes."

"No. I mean" Xander said, "Did you want me to take the couch?"

"Oh" ~Buffy gave him a small smile "No. I-I'd like it if you'd hold me."

"You sure?"

~Buffy smiled "All you have to do is *hold* me, OK?"

Xander smiled back "I can do that."

"Good" ~Buffy pulled him towards the bedroom then she stopped and turned back to face him "OK. You do realise however that I'll be changing with my eyes closed don't you?" she said "Coping I may be, but seeing your ex naked isn't going to help" she scrunched her nose up "Can I borrow one of your T-shirts?"

"Sure. Although if you think getting changed is bad I hate to think what the bathroom activity is going to be like tomorrow."

~Buffy looked at him "Gee thanks for that honey. I'll sleep better now" she sighed "Come on" ~Buffy started pulling him back into the bedroom "We'll just deal with everything else tomorrow"

--------------------

Giles was seated at his table re-reading yet again a passage on Cathanian spells. He sighed, giving up for now, and he closed the book.

Willow and Tara, seated on the couch, looked up from their own book and turned around to look at Giles.

"They just say the same thing" he said "A Cathanian spell can only be undone by a someone performing a Cathanian counteractive."

"So we're back to square one?" Willow said.

"No, no" Giles quickly "I still have some-"

"People who *haven't* called you back?" Willow interceded.

"Yes. I mean, no. Willow, these people can't just produce someone out of thin air."

"Mr Giles is right Willow" Tara said, looking at Willow and putting a hand on her girlfriend's shoulder "Finding someone could take some time" Tara turned to Giles "Willow and I contacted the nether realm last night. Just to see, to double check," she added quickly when Giles looked at her in alarm.

"You contacted the nether realm?" Giles gave them both incredulous looks.

"Don't get testy," Willow said, "We knew what we were doing. We were trying to see if it would show us where Ren was. Y'know if she was all right or having trouble contacting us"

"And?"

"Well we saw her but we couldn't see *where* she was" Willow answered Giles. She stood up "Plus we couldn't stay very long. The nether realm is tiring y'know?" she paused "And now if you'll excuse me, nature calls" she added quietly before heading off to the bathroom.

Tara watched after her girlfriend for a moment before turning to Giles. She spoke to him in hushed tones "There's something I want to tell you" she said, getting up and pulling up a chair next to him. Tara sat down "I haven't told Willow this. I thought it might worry her more than she is already." She took a deep breath "Usually when you try and see someone in the nether realm, if you're searching for someone, usually you can see them clearly. Their image is sharp. But when we saw Buffy and your friend Ren, their images were kinda fuzzy. Like blurry around the edges. I-I don't know quite what it means…" she trailed off.

"Fuzzy you say?" Giles asked and Tara nodded "Well, it could mean one of a few things" he said after a moments thought, "I'll look into it"

Tara looked at him imploringly "I don't think Buffy should know about this" she said, "It could make her worry more"

"I think you're right" Giles head then turned to the direction of the door when he heard a knocking. He was about to get up when the door opened and Xander came in, followed by ~Buffy who looked entirely uncomfortable wearing a pair of Xander's jeans that were bunched up around the middle and also one of his shirts with the sleeves rolled up and the tails tied at her waist.

"Sorry we're late" Xander said, "We had a few problems getting started"

Giles gave them an understanding nod "Have you heard-?"

"Nothing" ~Buffy replied "No messages. You?"

Giles shook his head. He stood up "How are you?" he asked.

"I'm fine" ~Buffy answered "We had a couple of emotional moments last night and this morning, and the using the bathroom is not something I really want to experience again anytime soon, but essentially" she looked at Xander and smiled before turning back to Giles "We're doing fine"

"How's the research going?" Xander asked "Anything?"

Giles shook his head "We have to have someone who has the strength to perform a Cathanian counteractive. They're very powerful spells."

"Can't you just get a lot of witchy people together and do it?" ~Buffy asked.

"Unfortunately not" Giles replied sadly "It can only be done by *one* person. Which leaves us in rather a bind I'm afraid"

"Buffy, Xander hey" Willow greeted her friends as she returned to the room "How are you doing?"

"We're good Wills" ~Buffy replied, giving the red-head a smile "Just getting the low down from Giles."

Willow's face fell a little "I know it doesn't look good Buffy, but we're going to keep at it."

"I know… I appreciate it" ~Buffy smiled at the others gratefully. She turned to Giles "I've been thinking about *why* someone would want to do this. What would someone have to gain by doing this?"

Giles sat back down "Actually Buffy I've been going over the same thing myself" Giles took off his glasses, cleaned them and then put them back on "Whoever did this had an ulterior motive, obviously, but I really can't think of anything else except for the fact it must have been to hurt you on an emotional level. Physically or strength-wise, you and Ren were… are equal. If someone wished to hurt you in a physical sense I would have assumed they would have switched you with well, a *normal* person"

"So someone wants to hurt me *emotionally*?" ~Buffy said. She looked to Xander "Who would want to do that?"

"There's something else" Giles said "This *attack* as it were, well… there is the possibility it may not have been directed entirely at you in the first place. It *may* have been directed at Ren herself"

"There is the fact that Ren hasn't gotten in touch…" Tara looked at the others.

"Something might have happened to her?" Xander asked quietly.

"And if something did" ~Buffy said "*If* she's de…" she didn't finish the sentence "What would happen then?"

Giles looked at her sadly "If Ren is…" he sighed "Then even if we could find someone to do the spell-"

"You couldn't switch me back" ~Buffy finished for him

Giles looked at the floor in answer.

~Buffy exhaled slowly then turned into Xander's offered hug. She held him tightly for a few moments before pulling back "Y'know I-I think I'm going to go for a walk"

"Do you want me to come with you?" Xander asked.

~Buffy shook her head "Thanks, but… I think I need to be alone" she turned to the others "I won't be long" ~Buffy gave them all a quick smile and then headed to the door. Xander followed her. He put a hand on her shoulder and she placed on of her own hands on top if it and turned back to face him "I'll be fine honey."

"Sure?"

"Sure" she leant forward and kissed him quickly "Back soon, OK?"

Xander smiled sadly and Buffy took her leave.

Xander sighed as he came back into Giles. He walked over to the couch and sat down, leaning forward and burying his face in his hands.

Willow sat down next to him and put her arm around his shoulder "Hey" she said softly and Xander raised his head to look at her "They're *both* going to be OK, Xander"

"Can you promise me that Will?" he whispered back.

Willow hung her head "No. I can't" she looked back up at him "But I can promise that we'll do everything we can to fix it."

Xander gave her a grateful smile "Thank Will" Xander then sighed and slumped back into his seat "What is it with me and relationships, guys? Why can't I just have a nice normal one?"

"'Cos we're on the Hellmouth?" Tara offered.

"Exactly" Xander said and sighed "Do you want to know what *else* happened yesterday that was pretty big?"

"Bigger than this?" Willow said, "I don't think anything-"

"I put a ring on Buffy's finger" Xander said.

Silence.

"W-well, t-that's pretty big" Tara said finally.

Willow gave him an incredulous look "You guys got *engaged*?"

"Yup" Xander said, "Got down on one knee, the whole sha-bang."

"Xander…" Giles said "I… I honestly don't know… well obviously congratulations, but-"

"The timing sucks?" Xander finished "Yeah, I already had that one" he sighed "Joyce knows. We were going to tell you guys last night but…" he trailed off "Kinda got eclipsed."

"Oh Xander" Willow took hold of his hand "Xander…"

"Buffy and I talked about it last night, I mean, *after*" he said, "We're dealing."

Willow squeezed his hand "I'm happy for you Xander. The engagement part… not the other part" she gave him a warm smile "I'm here if you want to talk, OK? You and Buffy."

"Thanks Will" he smiled back. Xander sighed again and stood up "OK. So what can I do? Give me any book. I'll read it cover to cover"

"Something we've already done sadly, Xander" Giles said "We're waiting on some phone calls…"

"Giles, I *need* something to do. Give me something. Anything."

"You could make some tea" Giles suggested.

Xander looked at him "Tea? OK, I can do tea" he looked at Giles again "Where can I do tea?"

Giles smiled at him warmly and pointed to the kitchen. Xander gave him a sheepish smile and headed to the kitchen.

Giles exchanged glances with the two witches. Willow was about to say something but there was a loud crash from the kitchen followed by some loud cursing. Giles got up and went to the kitchen where he found Xander picking up the remains of one of his china cups.

"Sorry Giles" Xander said without looking up "I'm just… I'll get you a new one."

"Xander leave it" Giles said "Leave it" he said again quietly "It doesn't matter."

"But-" Xander felt himself being pulled up gently. He looked into the face of the older man. Giles was looking at him sadly. Xander sighed heavily and ran his hand through his hair "It's not fair" Xander said.

Giles reached out and gave Xander's shoulder a comforting squeeze "I know it's not"

--------------------

"Hi honey, I'm ho-ome" Tay said cheerily and literally bounced into her apartment. She spied Spike lounging in one of her chairs and she flashed him a brilliant smile.

"Taken a happy pill this mornin' 'ave we?" Spike said as Tay sat on his lap.

"Nope" she grinned at him again, grabbed the back of his head and claimed his lips in a bruising kiss.

Spike got quite lost in the kiss until he realised he had something to tell her. He broke away abruptly and she grumbled in protest "Tay, the witches were up to something last night" on her raised eyebrows he added "And not the stuff I *like* to watch"

Tay's face became more serious "Show me" she said, getting off Spike lap.

Spike stood up and began to head to the bedroom where the monitors were set up "I started taping as soon as they whipped out the mojo stuff" he told Tay who had sat down in front of the VCR. Spike handed her the tape and she put it in the machine. She watched the tape in silence, peering closely at the screen.

"Hmm" she said when the tape finished "Interesting. Didn't think they'd *actually* do it"

"Do what?"

"They contacted the nether realm" she told him.

"That ain't a bad thing right?" Spike asked, "They couldn't have found out anythin' could they?"

Tay shook her head "No. I had that aspect covered" she turned to Spike "Best we watch that blonde witch though" she said.

"You think she could be trouble?" Spike asked Tay as he followed her out of the bedroom "You said there wasn't going to *be* trouble"

"There isn't" Tay said "Just *watch* her" Tay turned and leaned against the wall. She grinned at Spike again "How's our captive?"

Spike grinned back "Sleeping like a big, blonde baby" he said "What the 'ell did you knock her out with?"

"Home brew" Tay smiled "She won't be awake for another 36 hours at the least."

"How did it go? Y'know, last night?"

"Couldn't have gone better" Tay replied, "I should get an Oscar"

"Don't think they give 'em to demons luv."

Tay laughed "Should do. I was fantastic. You didn't see?"

"Watchin' the witches" Spike replied "Saw you earlier though" he grinned again "Never thought it would be as easy as this."

Tay looped her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer to him "Spike, we've only just begun."

--------------------

__

(Meanwhile)

Everyone, minus ~Buffy, was still at Giles. Xander, Willow and Tara had decided to keep at the books, going over and over everything they could find on Cathanian spell of any type, and were seated on the more comfy chairs. Giles still sat at the table researching possible reasons for the way Tara said she had seen Buffy and Ren's images. So far he hadn't found anything.

They all read in silence until Willow broke it.

"Ooh" she said, not looking up "Here's something"

The others turned to Willow. "What have you found?" Giles asked, going over to her.

Willow looked up at him "It's what we've been reading over and over again. I guess it's had to be the twentieth time before it sank in" she said, "The switching. It's wrong. It's Cathanian but I think it's been altered."

"Altered how?" Tara asked, "You can't alter it" she looked at Giles "Can you?"

"Not in theory" Giles said to the blonde witch "I never known it to be done, but then I've not had that much dealing with it."

"What about the switching?" Xander asked, "What's wrong? Apart from the obvious" he added.

"Well" Willow said "Technically, if I'm reading this right at all, we shouldn't *have* *Ren's* body *here*" the others looked at her and Tara's eyes widened.

"I get it" Tara said "What we should have is *Ren* in *Buffy's* body"

"Yes" Giles said slowly "But-but instead we have Buffy in Ren"

"Is isn't the *bodies* that switch. It's the mind. The *inside*" Willow said, "Buffy shouldn't be here. She should have gone wherever Ren was when the spell happened and we should have Ren here in Sunnydale in *Buffy's* body"

"Now the other question is" Giles said, "Why would someone have wanted to change that?"

------------------------------------

Tay and Spike both sat watching the monitor that showed Giles' home. Spike sighed and slouched back further into his chair.

Tay turned to him "Spike, if this is boring you, why don't you go check on our new house guest?"

"No fun 'til she wakes up" Spike said. His eyes flicked back up to the monitor "Hey. What are they doin' now?"

Tay looked as well "Seems like they found something" she motioned for Spike to be quiet and got up, going to stand directly in front of the screen. "Huh" she said after a few moments silence "Would have thought they'd have seen that sooner. It's bloody obvious."

"What is?" Spike asked, getting up and going to her side "How do you know what they're sayin'?"

"It's called lip-reading Spike" Tay said "Handy when these things have no sound."

"Well what have they figured out that was bloody obvious then?"

"The anomaly with the switching."

"I take it you're not worried by the fact they know this then luv?"

"Hardly. They'll be too busy trying to figure out *why* someone would want to change the spell to realise it's not even the spell they think it is"

Spike grinned "I also take it you're going to do everything you can to keep them thinking they're on the right track then?"

"Too bloody right" she grinned back "Next thing I have to worry about is when the Watcher decides to call your friend."

"Angel is *not* my friend" Spike said, "Anyway, he hasn't called him yet. I checked the phone records like you showed me. I'm guessing it won't be long before he does though."

"You're right. I can think of something though."

"You'd better. I don't want that bloody wanker showing up 'ere and spoilin' me fun"

"He won't" Tay said, "I'll make sure of that"

"Good" Spike replied "And while we're on the little subject of people we don't want here, what are you gonna do if little sis shows up?"

"I've set up sentry spells. Even if she does get wind of this, she won't get within twenty miles of this two-bit town without me knowing about it" Tay looked back up at the screen "Guess I'd better get going" Tay turned around and walked out of the bedroom and Spike followed her.

Tay picked up a small object off the coffee table "I'll take this" she said, showing Spike the pager she now held "It's on vibrate. You're the only one who has the number" Tay handed him a slip of paper with the number on it "You call that when the Watcher rings Angel"

Spike gave her a mock salute "Will do" he said, "Have fun"

Tay grinned back then headed towards the door "I'll try and get back later." 

When Tay left, Spike shook his head and shoved the scrap of paper into the pocket of his jeans "That's me. Spike the Lackey" Spike searched around for his cigarettes. Finding them on the kitchen counter, he took one out and lit it. He took a long drag on it and exhaled slowly "And if she hadn't promised me a few things, I'd tell 'er where she could shove it."

-------------------

__

(A little later that day)

~Buffy knocked once on Giles' door before entering. "Hey" she said "Only me."

"Hey" Xander said, getting and going over to her "I was getting worried about you"

"I kinda lost track of time" ~Buffy said, letting Xander guide her to an empty seat amongst the others. Xander took the bag she had and ~Buffy sat down "I just started walking. It was nice. I know it's not going to change the situation but I think I just needed… y'know" she smiled at Xander "How are you?"

"I'm OK" Xander sat down next to her "Where'd you go?"

"The park mostly, then through town. I thought maybe… a little retail therapy" she gave them all a quick smile "Didn't really work like it usually does… but at least I now have pants that fit" she smiled a little wearily at the others "Anything new?"

"One thing" Giles said "The spell, it seems, was altered somehow. Altered to make *you* stay here but to swap bodies. Technically you shouldn't be *here*"

"I should have gone where Ren was?" ~Buffy replied.

Willow nodded "Uh huh" her face then saddened a little "We still haven't heard anything from her"

"I gathered" ~Buffy said, "Not looking good is it?"

"Oh now don't say that" Xander said, taking her hand "We'll sort this out."

~Buffy squeezed his hand "I know " ~Buffy sighed "I'm going to go tell mom later. I-I don't know how long this" she gestured to herself "Is going to last. She should know even if we get this sorted out tomorrow" she turned to Xander "Will you come with me?"

"Of course I will" Xander said, "You didn't even have to ask you know"

~Buffy leaned against him and Xander put an arm around her shoulder "Thanks" she said, "I really don't know how she's going to take it"

"I'm sure she'll take it in her stride" Giles said "Have you… told her about the… other thing?"

"Other thing?" ~Buffy looked confused.

Xander cleared his throat "I kinda mentioned about our change in relationship"

"Oh" ~Buffy smiled and batted his knee playfully "We were supposed to tell them together" she looked at the others "So what do you guys think?" she asked hesitantly.

"I'm happy for you Buffy" Willow said, smiling "Really."

"Yeah, congratulations" Tara said, "It's really great."

"Well it was a bit of a shock at first" Giles admitted "But" he smiled "I have no doubts you two will be very happy."

"Thanks. Everyone… you guys" ~Buffy smiled "It really means a lot."

"It'll all work out Buffy, you'll see" Willow said.

"Oh I know it will" ~Buffy said, "I know it will."

--------------------

__

(Later that evening) (Summers Residence)

"You sure you don't mind?" ~Buffy asked.

"I already told you that I don't mind Buffy" Xander said, stepping back on to the veranda "Your mom's in shock, of course you should stay."

~Buffy leaned against the doorframe "I just thought…" 

"Buffy, it's OK"

"I'll come by in the morning," she said.

"Oh… um. I'm-I'm actually working" Xander said apologetically "It'll have to be lunch. I'm sorry."

"You can't call in sick again?"

Xander shook his head "Not really. I wish I could. Look" he said taking her hand "If you do need me for anything. Just call, OK?"

"OK" ~Buffy said, "I'll be at Giles' anyway in case you need to call me."

Xander smiled and brought her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it "I'll see you tomorrow"

~Buffy smiled back "Love you."

"Love you too" Xander dropped her hand and gave her a little wave before heading back down the path.

~Buffy watched him for a few moments before quietly shutting closing the door. 

--------------------

__

(Meanwhile)

"You know, you two girls should really go home" Giles said to Willow and Tara who were still pouring over his books "I don't think we're going to find anything new tonight"

Willow closed her book "I know. You're right Giles. I just think… keep thinking we'll find something… or-or hear something from Ren."

"I know Willow" Giles said "But until I hear from… anyone… we're at a dead end."

"Did you call Angel?" Willow asked.

"After I spoke to Buffy, yes, I called him" he replied "Buffy said that it would be stupid not to, but-but she didn't want me to tell him why we wanted someone"

"I guess she didn't want him coming down here, huh?" Willow said "What with her and Xander…" she trailed off.

"What did Angel say?" Tara asked, "What did you tell him?"

"I told him we needed someone who could perform the spell. That it was urgent and for a friend. He couldn't think of anything or anyone off hand, but he said he'll keep on it."

"Oh well that's good then" Willow said. Then she yawned "I guess there really isn't anything we can do."

"No." Giles said, "Hopefully it'll be clearer in the morning."

--------------------

__

(Back at the Summers residence)

Joyce did a double take as ~Buffy walked into the kitchen "Hey… Buffy."

~Buffy gave Joyce a warm smile "Don't worry mom. I've been doing it all day."

"It must take a little getting used to " Joyce said "But… but I guess this it what happens when you live… well, where we live" Joyce walked over to ~Buffy. She took a strand of ~Buffy's dark, almost black hair and twirled it between her fingers "It's a powerful spell, huh?"

"Yeah. It is."

Joyce sighed and tucked the strand of hair she held behind ~Buffy's ear "Who'd want to do this?" she asked "*Why* would someone do *this*?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out" ~Buffy replied.

"What about the person you swapped with. This friend of Xander's. Can she do anything?"

"We don't know where she is. We haven't heard from her yet" ~Buffy sighed "And she wasn't just his friend. She was his ex."

Joyce raised her eyebrows "Oh. I-I didn't realise" she paused "It must make it harder. On you both."

"A little" ~Buffy said "But we're both adult. We're OK"

"I'm glad," Joyce said with a small smile "You and Xander… you're so much in love. He's good for you and you for him."

"Thanks mom that means a lot" ~Buffy smiled "Xander has been really great. If it wasn't for him… I don't think I'd be doing half so well."

Joyce smiled back and placed a comforting hand on ~Buffy's shoulder. 

//Not half so well at all// Tay thought as she let Joyce lead her into the sitting room.

--------------------

__

(Later that night)

Tay laid on her back on top of Buffy's bed. Her eyes were closed but she wasn't asleep. She was listening for the sounds that would indicate that Joyce had fallen finally asleep.

Tay didn't have to wait much longer. As soon as she could identify the rhythmic breathing and the slightly slowed heartbeat, Tay opened her eyes and looked at the clock on the bedside table.

"Jeez" she said softly "Half one in the morning. Its about bloody time."

Tay sat up and looked at her surroundings. She didn't need to examine anything; Tay had been in here enough times over the past two months to know it well. Tay got off the bed and went to the window, which she'd opened previously to avoid it making a noise now. She sat on the ledge, swinging her legs over so they were dangling on the outside before pushing herself off and dropping silently to the ground.

Tay made her way quickly across town, using the lesser-populated routes, to the apartment she and Spike were working out of. Not bothering to knock on her own door, she let herself in.

"Spike" she hissed as she shut the door behind her "Spike?"

"You don't have to whisper pet," Spike said, flicking on a light as he emerged from the bedroom that housed the monitors.

"Yeah well I don't want to go annoying the neighbours" she said, "The less people notice us the better."

"Well we wouldn't have had neighbours if you'd have had this operation working out of a nice little crypt" Spike pointed out "I like a nice crypt."

"Spike, I told you this before. The reason why your 'Death to the Slayer' schemes never worked is because the moment the little munchkins get wind of any big bad happening, the first places they check out are the cemeteries, crypts and the abandoned warehouses. And *where* is the *last* place they're going to check, huh?" Tay gestured to the luxurious apartment they both stood in "This place. This nice, respectable establishment with fantastic views and no overpowering stench of death."

Spike shot her a look "Whatever" He pulled Tay to him and wrapped his arms around her waist "No problems getting away tonight?"

"None" Tay replied "I'm staying at mommy dearest's tonight and she's out like a light"

"So how long can you stay then?" Spike gave her a suggestive look "Time for a quickie?"

Tay grinned and grabbed a handful of his hair, pulling Spike closer to her before devouring his lips in a kiss, but any further groping broke off abruptly when they heard a groan from one of the other rooms. They both exchanged glances and Tay pushed Spike to the side as she went to investigate the sound.

"Tay" Spike said as he followed her into the room "I thought you said she wouldn't be coming around at least until *tomorrow* evening!"

"She shouldn't be." 

"All right. *Why* is she coming around?! You said she wasn't-"

Tay waved her hand in an arc infront of Spikes face and Spike suddenly found himself unable to speak.

"Sorry, but I need to think here," Tay said. She moved to the side of the bed on which their captive lay with her hands and feet chained to the corners of the bed "She's semi-conscious" Tay stated "She must be stronger than I thought" Tay walked around to the other side of the bed. She looked at Spike and waved her hand in an arc again, allowing Spike to speak.

"*That* wasn't very nice" he said "And what do you mean 'stronger than you thought'? I thought you allowed for Slayer strength" Spike went to Tay's side "Can't you just shoot her up again?"

"Not much point" Tay replied "She won't be going anywhere anyway" she indicated the chains that bound their captive's limbs "These I... *prepared* myself. She would *definitely* need twice her Slayer power to get out of these" she paused and raised an eyebrow at Spike "And considering I don't even intend to keep her at half her usual power..."

"We should be OK" Spike finished "Well that's all lovely and good but what the hell are we supposed to do with her now? We were working to a schedule that involved her *not* being awake yet remember?"

"*Yes* I *know* that Spike, but the way things are going it doesn't *matter*. They think that's it's some kind of Cathanian transfer spell that has *swapped* them over. Spike, they've accepted that I'm *her*" Tay indicated Buffy on the bed "So we've fast forwarded a little" she smiled when Buffy's eyes began to flutter open "It doesn't change our plans"

"You'd better be right," Spike said.

Tay looked at him "You're really a glass half empty kinda guy aren't you?"

"Well over the past few years of knowing her" Spike pointed to Buffy, who still hadn't managed to get her eyes fully open "I don't set my expectations quite so high."

The chains clinked as Buffy began to try and move her arms. As if realising something was wrong, her eyes finally flew open, although her vision was still slightly blurry "Huh? What the..." she squinted and looked at the figures standing to her side. She pulled on the chains "What the hell is this?"

"She's not very bright is she?" Tay said to Spike.

"I always had doubts" Spike replied.

Buffy recognised the male voice. She blinked a couple of times and then focused in on his blond hair "Spike. I am so gonna kick your ass when I-" Buffy broke off when she saw the woman standing next to him "Ren?"

"'Fraid not" Tay said. She smiled and held out her hand "Name's Tay" she gave Buffy a mock apologetic look and pulled back her hand "Gee sorry forgot" Tay clapped her hands together "Right. We're going to be your hosts for the duration of your stay here. If you should need anything-"

"What do you want?" Buffy interrupted "Why have you done this to me? *How* did you-"

"I'll answer your first two questions later" Tay said "As for the third... I merely shot you with a tranquilliser when you went to investigate that rather splendid light show I put on for you and your friends benefit."

"Where's Xander?" Buffy asked "If you've so much as-"

"Your little boy toy's fine" Spike said.

"What have you done to him?!" Buffy wrestled with her chains again, but to no effect.

Tay smiled "I haven't done anything. Yet."

Buffy scowled at her "You won't get away with this. They'll come looking for me and when they find-"

"They won't come looking for you" Spike said, grinning evilly "They don't even know you're missing"

Tay chuckled "Oh look Spike she's all confused" Tay sat on the edge of the bed "You see Buffy. They don't know you're missing" she smiled "Because they all think *I'm* *you*"

"What?"

"This is the clever part" Spike said "They all think you've switched bodies with this Ren bird" Spike grinned "Tay here was very convincin'. All she had to do was insist that she was poor little Buffy all trapped inside someone else's body."

"Someone else being Ren" Tay added "And to top it off, they all think it was a big, powerful spell that changed us over when in reality it was an aura changing spell. I now have your aura, your natural energy as it were. And it's strong enough to convince your friends that I'm you."

"So how did you get Ren's body?" Buffy asked, "You steal that too?"

Tay shook her head "'Fraid not. Didn't have to borrow a thing" Tay waved her hand in an arc in front of Buffy's face so Buffy couldn't speak "Now I'm going to tell you a little story" she grinned "Stop me if you've heard it"

"I've 'eard it" Spike said "I'm going for a smoke" Spike smirked at Buffy before heading out of the bedroom.

"Now, I think you're familiar with this part... I think it goes something like 'Into every generation there is born…'" Tay smiled "But that's about as much as our stories are similar. Now, this will surprise you. I wasn't *born* a demon. Well, not whole demon, I had demon genes, they just laid dormant, but for all intents and purposes *I* thought I was human. Until I hit my 24th birthday. Then my world as I knew it suddenly turned all the darker. I get whisked away in the dead of the night and find myself in someplace filled with all kinds of creatures that I'd never seen before. Some had horns, some had more than one head, but y'know that's not really important here." Tay paused for breath "The main thing is *I* get told I'm a *demon*. Wasn't too impressed with that at first I can tell you. Then I get told I can choose... go back to a normal, human life or I can venture forth into a bright new world. A bright new world where I can have superpowers, never age and become virtually un-killable." 

Tay ran a hand through her hair "Now I wasn't a very happy human. My *family* weren't the most well off of people and they had some very interesting views on life which, two hundred years ago, many people didn't take to kindly to, so we were basically outcasts as well. Not fun. So I think to myself 'Huh. Do I want to go back to a shitty life where as a woman I have no rights or say in anything? Or do I want to stay beautiful, become strong and try out this demon thing?'" 

Tay grinned "Obviously I chose the demon thing. Now of course they didn't tell me what other choice I was going to have to make at that time. I found out a year later. The choice I could make was which path I would then walk. The North path or the South path. The North path, the Borealis, was the *good* path. You're still a demon but not the destroy the world kind. The perks with this path mainly consist of the power to self heal and to heal others. Very handy, especially as North's are used as guardians. The South path, the Australis, however is the *bad* path. The path where you don't fight the good fight, the path where chaos and mayhem happens. The fun stuff. You don't get the healing perk with this path but you get a chance to have a major skill in a certain area. You don't know which until you decide to take the path" Tay paused "I took the South path, which surprisingly not many Aurora demons do. My aptitude was magic. And I'm very, *very* good at it" 

Tay sighed "Now I'm guessing you're wondering what this has to do with *anything*. Well I'll tell you. I wasn't the only one who was born into that generation. I had a twin and as twins do we shared the same genes. She chose to be a demon too but she took the North path" Tay grinned and waved her hand back in front of Buffy to allow her to speak.

"Ren" Buffy spat out.

"Yup. Serendipity's my little sis. My real name is Tranquillity. Stupid I know, but I said our parents were weird."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I can" Tay replied "And because it's fun."

"But *why*? What have *I* ever done to you?"

"Oh you've done nothing to me" Tay said "But occasionally I tune into my sister's thoughts" Tay leaned in closer to Buffy "Do you know how much she was hurting after you and Xander got together. She *loved* him and you just walked right in and took him away"

"She put you up to this?!"

Tay shook her head "Dippy doesn't know a thing about it. She still thinks I'm in Europe" Tay laughed "It's typical of her. As soon as she finds out where I'm causing trouble she just has to try and stop me. Trouble is, she just always ends up clearing up the mess."

"For her twin, you don't seem to like her much" Buffy said.

"I don't. She's annoying. Always was" Tay replied, getting off the bed "But I got to thinking a while ago about families and all that crap and I figured this would be a nice way for me to get some kind of revenge for her and hurt her at the same time"

"You're sick."

"Thanks" Tay grinned.

"Y'know there's nothing stopping me from screaming the place down"

"Sorry Buffy, but I really don't see that happening. Soundproofed the room" Tay told her "By the way I wouldn't struggle too much in those chains. Save your wrists, you won't be getting out anytime soon."

"So now you're concerned for her welfare?" Spike asked, coming back into the room "You are a very strange person"

Tay turned to him and smiled "You're only just figuring that out, Spike?" 

"Yeah" Buffy chimed in "And I think you're stretching it with *person* as well"

Spike grinned "Ooh the little Slayer's quite the wit isn't she?"

"At least I'm not a half wit like you." Buffy retaliated "Tell me Spike, what do you have to do with all this?"

"Spike just wants to see you dead" Tay replied for the Vampire.

"Too damn right" Spike said "Look Tay I'm going to check the screens. See what the others are up to" Spike smirked again at Buffy and headed off into the other room.

Buffy narrowed her eyes at Tay "Y'know, with any scheme that has Spike involved, it's going to go bad sometime" Buffy stared evenly at Tay "You won't get away with this. They'll figure you out. You won't fool them for long."

"Oh, but I don't intend on fooling them for *long*" Tay replied "I just intend to fool them for long *enough*" Tay walked slowly around to the foot of the bed "Y'know your boyfriend-" Tay broke off and grinned "Actually I guess I should say fiancé, right? Congrats by the way. You're a lucky girl. I can see what Dippy saw in him" Tay rested her hands on the bed rail and leaned forward "He's cute. Very cute. Eyes you could swim in" Tay laughed when Buffy struggled in her chains "He's the hardest to convince you know. But a well placed hypnotic suggestion never hurt anyone."

"You leave him alone" Buffy hissed "Don't you touch him."

"But he's so very touchable" Tay taunted "And after all I *am* his fiancée"

"Leave him alone!"

Tay walked round to the side of the bed again. She leant forward and whispered in Buffy's ear "Make me."

"I *will* kill you" Buffy hissed back when Tay walked away from her

"I look forward to it" Tay said, leaning against the door frame "Spike here" Tay added as said Vampire walked back in to the room "Will answer any more questions you have. Alas I now have to go before anyone misses me" Tay went to leave but stopped and turned back to Buffy "I hope your mother makes a good breakfast."

Spike grinned at Tay and she gave him a little wave before she left.

Buffy glared at Spike "So what does the monkey have to say now that the organ grinder's gone?"

"This is a *team* effort Slayer" Spike replied "I play my part"

"And what's that? Sidekick?" Buffy laughed in spite of her predicament "You're a joke Spike" she gave him a look of mock concern "Still having problems biting people?"

"That's none of your business. And your life, or what's left of it, will be a lot easier if you try not to piss me off."

"Oh please Spike. Let me piss you off. It's not like I've got anything else to do" Buffy rattled her chains pointedly

Spike simply smiled at her "Oh sure you do. You get to worry about what Tay's going to do to your boyfriend. Now that's something to look forward to isn't it?"

--------------------

__

(Meanwhile)

Xander couldn't believe how quiet and lonely his apartment was without Buffy. It wasn't like he hadn't spent night without her in the past, but this was… it was different.

Xander picked up a framed photo of himself and Buffy. It had been taken a few weeks ago. They were both sitting on the steps that led onto Joyce's veranda. Buffy was leaning against him; her head turned to him. They were both looking at each other like nothing else mattered in the world. Xander ran his thumb lightly over the picture and sighed sadly. 

//What am I going to do if they can't be switched back?// Xander put the picture back down //She may be here in spirit but I want her here in body too//

Xander felt that what made it worse was the fact that if Buffy's body was nowhere to be found that meant something could have happened to Ren, and although Xander had been angry at her for not wanting to come back, he still missed her like crazy. Buffy had been right. He had felt guilty for missing Ren. He'd felt guilty for letting her leave the way she had and the fact he hadn't realised how deep her feelings ran for him until it was too late.

Xander wandered aimlessly into the kitchen. Flicking on the light, his attention was drawn to the small gift box on the kitchen counter. He picked it up and opened it. The earrings were still in it. Not forgotten, just overshadowed. Xander snapped the box shut and placed it back on the counter.

Xander wandered back out of the kitchen and in to the sitting room. He sank down on to the couch before leaning forward and buried his face in his hands. This wasn't supposed to be happening. He was supposed to be enjoying his engagement to the woman he loved, the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. 

He just wanted all of her to be here.

Xander stood up. It was no good. He couldn't stay here tonight. Xander picked up his coat and a stake. //Let's just hope Giles is burning the midnight oil// Xander thought as he left his apartment.

---------------------------------------

Buffy shifted restlessly in her bonds. All her appendages were chained to the four corners of the bed. The chains ran through steel loops and were all joined at a central point underneath the bed. Buffy was raised only slightly with a pillow behind her back. She believed Tay when she said that she wouldn't be getting out anytime soon. Buffy could feel in herself that she wasn't all there. Her power that was, not her mind. No, she had full control over her mind and she knew that she was in the weaker position here.

Buffy glanced over at Spike briefly. He was lounging in a chair he had brought into the room. Spike wasn't saying anything. He was just quite content to sit there, chain smoking his cigarettes. So Buffy didn't say anything to him either.

Buffy didn't know how long she had been unconscious either. There were no clues in the room; no clock and she really didn't want to ask Spike. And not knowing how long she'd been out meant she didn't know how long Tay had been impersonating her. How long Tay had been with Xander. Buffy was *trying* not to think about *that*. But Buffy wasn't having much success.

And Spike had noticed.

"I see you've taken my advice" Spike said "That's good. I'm glad you're taking us seriously."

Buffy just glared at him. Spike smirked and continued "Just so you know. Tay's *very* good with her hands. I'm sure your boyfriend will find that out."

Buffy continued glaring "Just shut it Spike" she said evenly.

"Ooh, harsh words from the Slayer. I'm quakin'" Spike laid on the sarcasm thickly "What are you gonna do? Glare me to death?"

"Stranger things have happened."

"That they have" Spike replied "I mean, I bet you never thought you be in" he gestured around him "This position a little less than two days ago"

//Well at least I wasn't out for long// Buffy held Spike's look "So how long are you planning to keep me in this *position*?"

"Just long enough."

"Way to be vague Spike. Jeez, what? You're just gonna keep me tied up here? Why not just kill me?" Buffy then added cajolingly "Come on, y'know you wanna"

"True" Spike said "But there's a few things I wanna do before I get to the fun killin' part."

"And what's *that* Spike? You and what's-her-name going to throw a few barbed comments my way? Slap me about a bit? Come on *what*?"

Spike stood up and moved to the doorway. He looked at Buffy for a few moments, took a long drag on his cigarette before dropping it on the floor and stubbing it out with the toe of his boot. Spike didn't smile at her "It's simple Slayer. We're just gonna wait 'til Tay gets her hands *all* *over* your little boy toy. Gonna make you watch. Then we're going to make you watch her kill 'im. Gonna make you watch the expression on his face when he realises that his beloved killed him. And *that* Slayer, will be the *last* expression you ever see before we *end* you". Spike then smirked and walked out of the room.

Buffy stared after him before closing her eyes to hold back the tears that threatened to roll down her cheeks. But it didn't take long before they finally fell.

Spike sat down in one of the chairs in the other bedroom and looked up at the screen that showed the interior of the room with Buffy in it. He grinned with unadulterated glee when he saw Buffy unable to hold back her emotions.

Spike leaned back and put his hands behind his head //It's times like this that make unlife worth living//.

-------------------

__

(Next morning)

Xander rolled over in his sleep and promptly fell off Giles' couch onto the floor.

"Ow" he mumbled into the carpet.

"Morning Xander" came Giles' voice above him.

Xander pushed himself up onto his knees and looked up at Giles "Morning" Xander sat himself back on the couch "What time is it?" he asked.

"You've got time for a shower and food before work if that's what you mean" Giles replied and received a blank look off of Xander "It's half eight" Giles continued "Coffee?"

"Please" Xander swiped both hands down his face "Has there been any-"

"No" Giles cut him off "No calls."

Xander closed his eyes and slumped back in his seat "Crap."

"My sentiments exactly" Giles said as he headed into the kitchen "I find it very disturbing that amongst my many contacts in this area that nobody knows anyone that can perform the spell"

"What about if we try and find the person who cast it in the first place? You told me that Tara *felt* it. That she'd been having bad vibes before we even went on patrol. That means if Tara felt it that strongly- "

Giles stopped his coffee making "That whoever did this to Buffy could still *be* in Sunnydale?" Giles finished for Xander "I suppose it's possible. Highly unlikely but not impossible."

"What would someone need to do this spell? We could check to see who bought stuff to do it."

Giles left the coffee altogether and came back out to join Xander "It requires more actual *power* than ingredients. Of course you need the items of the person you want to switch and I think" Giles picked up an open book off the table and looked for the passage he needed "Uh, no. It just seems power and personal items *are* all it takes"

"So back to square one then?" Xander said gloomily.

"Maybe not" Giles said, "You've raised an interesting point. Willow and Tara are coming over again today. I can get them to check by the magic shop. See if anyone's bought anything unusual" Giles put the book down "Whoever it was may have been doing more spells of a different nature."

"What about Willy?"

"Buffy said she'd do that today" Giles sat down next to Xander "Ren *will* be OK Xander"

"Then why hasn't she got in touch?"

Giles sighed "Maybe… maybe she can't get to a phone."

"You're reaching Giles. She didn't even have to *call*. She could have just got on a plane and have *been* here by now"

"Xander you have to think positive. Buffy needs you to be positive about this whole thing. She needs all of us, especially you."

-------------------

Three hours later and Xander had gone to work and Willow now resided at Giles' along with Tay in her Buffy persona. Willow and Tara had the same idea as Xander and Tara had already seen fit to enquire about any more than unusual purchases from the magic shop. There hadn't been any.

Tay had to stop from smiling when Willow had told her this //Well of course you wouldn't. My god, if someone went to all that trouble to do the spell they wouldn't go and buy stuff from the local magic shop to do it now would they? Well I wouldn't. Maybe some of the more stupid people they come up against have//

"Buffy?"

"Hmm?" Tay flicked her eyes up from the book she was pretending to read and looked at Willow. Tara and Giles had gone out on a food run an hour ago and Tay had been left with the redheaded witch.

"Are you OK?" Willow asked, "I-I mean apart from..." Willow trailed off.

Tay smiled "I'm fine Willow" she reassured the other girl "Why?"

"Oh.. I was just wondering... I thought since you hadn't said much about what happened with your mom last night..."

Tay closed her book and set it on the coffee table "Well mom didn't take it too well, but after Xander and I calmed her down she was a little better. She kept doing double takes of me all this morning... I don't think it's sunk in quite yet"

"Oh I know how she feels" Willow said, "You look like her but-"

"I have Buffy quality?" Tay finished for Willow and gave her a brief smile "Yeah that's what Xander said"

Willow set her own book down on the table "Giles said Xander stayed here last night"

"I know" Tay sighed "I called him earlier " she sank back further into the couch "I-I thought he'd be OK at his place. He said he would."

"Well Xander says a lot of things" Willow replied then her eyes widened as she realised how that sounded "Oh-oh I didn't mean about y'know.. I-I'm sure he meant-"

"I get what you're saying Willow" Tay tried not to smile too brightly "He's affected by this as much as I am"

"Buffy, you know he bottles things up. You have to remember to get him to talk to you about things."

"I know" //OK, so I didn't know. But I do now. Note to self. Talk to temporary boyfriend//.

Tay looked at the clock and Willow followed her gaze "Are you meeting Xander on his lunch break?" Willow asked.

"Yeah" Tay replied "I'm also wondering where Giles and Tara have got to."

"Oh, I think Giles mentioned going to have a look at the place where the switching badness happened" Willow told her "See if they could find any clues or anything."

//Not bloody likely// "What are they hoping to find?"

"Anything" Willow said, "Oh, also Giles said to ask you what you wanted to do about patrol tonight. He thought seeing as how we know you have no change in strength that it would be OK for you to go. If you wanted to," she added.

Tay thought about this briefly //OK, demon killing. Not really sociable to kill fellow demons but on the other hand I'm not going to get another chance to kick some butt. Plus you never know when one of this lot might choose to show up// "No" Tay said, "Patrolling won't be a problem."

"Do you want us to come?"

"I think I can manage" Tay said, "You don't mind do you? It's just I think if I can get out on my own, do some violence, it might clear my head a little. Y'know gain some focus, some semblance of normality"

"Not a problem for me" Willow replied "You might have some convincing to do with Xander though"

"Don't worry" Tay replied "I can convince him"

--------------------

Tay had met Xander for lunch and they had relocated from the restaurant to a nearby park. Currently they were seated next to each other on the grass under the shade of a tree and Tay had decided to repeat to Xander what she had said to Willow about patrolling that night

"You don't mind do you? It's just I think if I can get out on my own, do some violence it might clear my head a little. Y'know gain some focus, some semblance of normality"

Xander raised an eyebrow "Normality?"

"Well, more like keeping to the same routine" Tay replied.

"Buffy I really think I should come with you."

"I don't. Have you seen yourself honey? When Willow told me Giles said you looked like hell this morning, I didn't believe her but-"

"Gee thanks Buffy" Xander rolled his eyes and laid on his back.

"Hey I didn't mean it in a *bad* way Xander" Tay moved on to her side facing Xander and she propped herself up on her elbow "That was supposed to be my concerned voice"

Xander looked at her and Tay smiled warmly "I'm concerned about you" she continued and Tay placed her free hand on his chest and began playing with a button on his shirt "You've barely been sleeping at all recently"

Xander closed his eyes "'Cos of the dream" he stated "Guess we know now what that was about"

Tay stopped playing with the button and placed her hand flat on Xander's chest //Thank the dark lord for lip reading// "Guess we do" Tay replied softly "I'm not *all* here like I promised, huh?"

Xander's eyes flew open and he placed his hand on top of hers "Hey, *that's* *not* your fault" Xander met her eyes "We didn't have *any* idea what was going to happen"

"No. I-I guess not" Tay moved herself closer to Xander so she was practically leaning against him.

"*Not* at *all* Buffy, OK?" Xander said firmly "We couldn't have stopped any of this" he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze "We just have to concentrate on fixing this"

"Yeah" Tay smiled warmly

Xander did a double take when she smiled. Just for a second he thought of Ren and how many times he had that same smile from her. //But it's not her you moron. It's *Buffy*//

"Guess I should be getting back" Tay continued, but she didn't move away from Xander "Giles and Tara hadn't got back by the time I left and I've left Willow by herself" Tay paused "What time do you finish tonight? You didn't say."

"Not until late. They sprung a double shift on me. I tried to get out of it" Xander said, "I really want to be helping you guys. But Giles told me this morning that there was nothing that I could do so... here I am working and still feeling useless"

"Hey, enough of that" Tay said softly and pulled her hand from Xander's hold and brought it up to cup his cheek "We've practically exhausted all means of research and research material, not too mention wacky ideas of how to do this spell a different way. We just keep covering the same ground" Tay moved her hand from his cheek and began to brush her fingers through his hair //Lets butter the kid up here// "You're not useless. We're all doing what we can, OK?" she smiled at him again.

"OK" Xander complied. He studied her for a few seconds "I thought you were going"

"It's nice here" she murmured, holding his gaze.

"Nice?" Xander's lips twitched up at the corners.

"Mm hmm" Tay smiled and lowered her lips to his, placing a quick kiss on them. She pulled back and smiled again "Nice."

--------------------

Giles took one last hopeful look round the grassy area by the mausoleum where they'd been two nights previously. 

Giles sighed and then turned to Tara "I can't see anything here at all" he said, "It's like nothing happened "

"I don't like it" Tara said, "It's not right"

"I agree" Giles replied "Perhaps we can talk to Buffy see if she noticed anything… more unusual" Giles began to head back towards where he had parked his car and Tara followed.

"I've been trying to think of reasons for the way you saw Buffy when you and Willow contacted the nether realm" Giles continued "There isn't much in my books that describes why things may appear different I'm afraid"

"There wasn't anything?"

"There were a couple of instances where they mentioned that someone tampering with the realm could cause-"

"You can't *tamper* with it Mr Giles" Tara interrupted then she gave Giles a sheepish look "I-I'm sorry but I don't think it's something you *can* tamper with"

"I-I didn't mean with the *actual* realm" Giles explained "I meant that someone could *change* the way someone *else* saw it"

Tara thought about this "If someone did do that" she said after a while "Then this whole thing just got a lot more confusing"

--------------------

Buffy wished that Spike would come back into the room again. At least if he was there she would have some one to verbally take her anger and hurt out on. Buffy didn't want to be left alone with her thoughts. 

Her thoughts hurt. They made her ache. She wanted Xander. Wanted to see him, touch him. Tell him not to believe Tay. Tell him to stay away from the psychotic bitch.

But she could do none of these things. 

So Buffy was still left with her thoughts.

--------------------

Tay had parted from Xander just over half an hour ago and now she was slowly making her way back to Giles'. She was taking her time because she really had no wish to get back to that little group and make small talk with them while they all discussed the ins and outs of Tay's little spell. Tay already knew everything about it and she was getting tired of them repeating the same stuff to each other over and over again //And if that Watcher complains one more time about people not calling him back I'll beat him to death with the damn phone//.

A sign outside a building on the other side of the street caught her eye "Willy's Place" she said softly under her breath "The guy I'm supposed talk to" //Well, no time like the present and all that// Tay checked for traffic before finally crossing the road. She figured the place would be open and she was right.

Not wanting to be in the place and only going in on the off chance that one of the Slayer's friends might check, Tay went in. Willy had recognised her as Ren and had addressed her as such. Tay just asked whether he had seen anything or heard anything unusual about the Slayer (Thinking that it might be useful to know which demons knew what was going on). Willy hadn't wanted to say much but after Tay threatened to rip out his spine he mentioned that one of his patrons had seen the light show she'd put on at the graveyard the other night.

Realising that this was all that Willy knew Tay made to leave but she was grabbed from behind by two larger than unlife Vampires, one of whom then span her around and smashed his fist into her jaw, sending her crashing to the floor. But before the other vamp could deliver his blow, both of Tay's arms shot out in front of her and an invisible force flowed from her hands and connected with both Vampires, sending them flying back across the room. They both hit the wall hard and slid to the floor, unconscious.

Tay spat out some blood and as she stood up she rubbed her jaw "I'm very adverse to getting hit" she said "If anyone else tries it I shall be forced to get violent" she pointed to the two still unconscious vampires "If you think that was bad then you haven't seen me really angry" Tay turned to Willy "You really should do something about your decor. I think it attracts the wrong type of clientele" she gave him a saccharine smile and walked out of the bar.

--------------------

__

(Later that night)

"You want to do *what*?" Xander sat down heavily on to Giles' couch. Xander had just finished work and had gone straight to Giles' to find out if there had been any news. Willow and Tara were listening from the kitchen as they prepared drinks.

"I want to try and find Ren" Giles repeated "The letter she sent a month ago came from Spain. Some place just over the border. I can ask around. See if anyone recognises seeing anyone matching her description *and* Buffy's. If that doesn't work out, I can try a little further afield" he sighed "I've finally heard back from the only promising leads on finding someone to do the spell and no of them panned out" Giles continued "I've already booked the flight. I go tomorrow morning. I fly from Los Angeles to London then to Gerona."

"Are you really sure you can find her Giles?" Willow asked.

Giles sighed "I have to try."

"Does Buffy know about this?" Xander asked.

"No she doesn't" Giles replied "I was hoping you might tell her. Perhaps sometime tomorrow? After I'm gone."

"Way to be brave Giles" Willow commented.

"Do you really think she'd object to you going Mr Giles?" Tara asked.

"I don't know Tara" Giles answered truthfully "But I think it would be easier if I just went. Less complicated" Giles looked back to Xander "And she's less likely to yell at you."

--------------------

Three hours later a T-shirt and boxer clad Xander lay atop his bed and propped up by a pillow. He was looking out of his window at the stars twinkling in the nearly midnight black sky.

Xander yawned and looked at the clock beside his bed. It was eleven in the evening. Xander yawned again //Buffy said she'd be back by now//. Xander rearranged the pillow behind his back so he laid flat with his head on it //I wish I'd gone with her// Xander sighed //But I promised her I wouldn't intrude on her need to clear her head//.

Xander closed his eyes and soon he felt himself drifting off to sleep.

--------------------

Tay closed Xander's door quietly. She could see a dim light shining from underneath the bedroom door and her more sensitive hearing told her that Xander was asleep.

Tay took off her jacket and threw it on the couch before she kicked off her shoes. She padded barefoot to the bedroom and opened the door slowly, revealing a peaceful looking Xander lying on his back on the bed.

Tay walked up to the bed and sat on the end of it. She studied Xander's face, which was lit slightly by the soft orange glow from the bedside lamp. //Well my little sis sure can pick 'em. Too cute for words, this one//.

Tay smiled //It's going to be so much fun breaking him//.

--------------------

__

(Next morning)

Xander stirred only slightly when his radio alarm went off. Half awake, he soon realised that he wasn't able to move very much. Xander opened one bleary eye and found the reason. There was fully clothed, dark-haired woman with her head resting against his chest and one leg of hers entwined with one of his.

Xander did his zillionth double take over the last two days and he felt his heart quicken before realisation set in and it slowed again. He managed to get one arm from underneath her body before putting it around her and pulling her gently closer to him. With his other free arm Xander reached out and intended to hit the snooze button on his alarm. Unfortunately he missed and knocked the volume control, turning the radio up.

"Noise… bad" a muffled female voice said.

"Sorry" Xander managed to turn the volume down "I thought you were asleep"

Tay shifted slightly so she could raise her head to look at Xander "I woke up about twenty minutes ago. I was just dozing."

Xander moved the hand that was near her waist up to her hair and began stroking her hair absently "I thought you were going to wake me when you got back from patrol"

"You were asleep."

"Hence the waking."

"Honey, I told you yesterday that you needed to sleep. And you were, so I didn't wake you" Tay looked at the clock which told her the time was ten minutes past nine "You don't have to work this morning?"

"This afternoon" Xander answered.

"OK" Tay yawned "How goes everything on the research front? Are we all headed over to Chez Giles this morning?"

"Ah. Uh… well we'll be there but… Giles won't."

Tay frowned "What do you mean?"

Xander sat up so Tay had to move to sit beside him "At this very moment Giles is boarding a plane. He's going to Spain. To try and find Ren."

"He went to Spain….?" Tay trailed off "Why Spain?"

"That's where the letter that Ren sent came from. He's going to follow up what leads he can"

"But what if he does find her? What then? We still need someone to do the spell."

"That's where we come in. Giles hasn't had any luck with any of his contacts but he told us to keep trying and to take no prisoners."

"Maybe Ren'll know someone" Tay said //But by the time the Watcher finds her, even if she still is in Europe, it'll be too late fore his precious little Slayer and her boyfriend//.


	3. Part Three

****

Mirror Mirror

Part Three

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

__

(One week later)

Buffy glared at Tay as the other woman entered the room. Tay ignored her and addressed Spike instead.

"How's it been?" she asked. 

Spike gave her a look that almost matched Buffy's "Well if you'd been here all this week, you'd bloody well know." 

"Well excuse me for having someone else's life to lead" Tay retorted. 

"Yeah, well, while you've been doin' that, I've had to put up with her" Spike pointed to Buffy "All bloody week." 

"I hate to point this out to you Spike, but that's actually *your* part of the deal. And if you can't handle it" Tay added "Then you'd better seriously consider your inclusion in this project." 

Spike glared at her and mumbled something under his breath before he stormed out of the room, slamming the door as he went. 

Tay rolled her eyes and sat down in the chair previously occupied by the blond vampire. 

"You two make a great couple," Buffy said sarcastically. 

"He has his uses" Tay kicked her feet up on to the edge of the bed "So how do you like my spells that take care of bodily functions and dietary needs?" Tay didn't wait for Buffy to answer "They were Spike's idea actually. Thought I'd oblige him" Tay tutted "And for that you have to go annoying him all week." 

"Well Spike's feelings aren't really foremost on my mind at the moment" Buffy said bitterly "Y'know he filled me in on your little plan" she smiled thinly "You really think you're going to get Xander don't you?" 

"Not *think* Slayer. *Know*" 

Buffy looked at her coldly "He'll know it's not me" she said "He'll *know*" 

"Maybe he will" Tay conceded "But by then it'll be too late" Tay took her feet off the bed and leant forward "He's pretty when he's sleeping isn't he?" 

"Leave him alone" Buffy said through gritted teeth. 

"I thought I'd already made the point that I wasn't going to" Tay replied "You just don't get it do you? There's *nothing* that you *can* do" Tay got up and sat on the edge of the bed by Buffy "You won't win this war. Your friends are already giving trying to find someone to counteract the spell. A spell that hasn't even been incanted in fact" Tay smiled "I can sense their resignation. Your Watcher has gone to Spain to search for my sister. Last time I checked though she was in Italy. I don't know whether he'll find her or not, but I'll know soon enough if he does. It just means in that case that I'll have to forgo the pleasantries with Xander and just kill him in cold blood. You I've promised to Spike. He hasn't got his bite as you've probably guessed, but I've figured a way around that" Tay smiled again "Mind over matter as it were."

"You do realise by telling me all this you've almost guaranteed that this plan will fail." 

"You mean the James Bond theory?" Tay shook her head "I hate to tell you this Slayer but this *is* real life. There's gonna be no rescue attempts, no *escape* attempts, no sudden regret by the captors for their poor, poor victims. There's going to be nothing. You have *nothing*" 

"Wrong" Buffy replied "I have my hate for you" Buffy looked directly into Tay's eyes "And when you kill me I'll come back to haunt you." 

Tay smirked "I do exorcisms." 

"I'm getting sick of you." 

Tay's hand shot out and Buffy found herself pinned by the throat "Just because Spike can't physically hurt you, doesn't mean that I can't." 

"Well why don't you then?" Buffy managed to rasp out. 

Tay's eye's narrowed and she drew back her other arm and smashed her fist into Buffy's face. She let go of Buffy's throat and hit her again. 

"This is me being restrained" Tay said before grabbing a handful of Buffy's hair and pulling Buffy as far towards her as the chains would allow "You'd better be grateful". Still holding on to Buffy's hair, Tay hit her again and her rings sliced into Buffy's skin. Tay gave Buffy a look of disdain and threw her backwards. 

Buffy tried to catch her breath to spit back a retort at Tay but the other woman had disappeared from the room. 

As Tay strode back in to the sitting room, Spike looked up at her from his position in one of the easy chairs. "Have a nice little chat with her did you?"

"In a manner of speaking" Tay said. She stood in front of him "Spike, there's going to be a delivery later this afternoon. You'll need to sign for it as a Mr Evans." 

"What is it?" Spike asked. He stood up and blew the smoke from his current cigarette into Tay's face "Flowers for the new roomie?" 

Tay's eyes narrowed "Just sign for the damn thing" she said coldly "I'll be back later to set it up" Tay grabbed her jacket and headed for the door. 

"Sure you can tear yourself away from your new friends?" Spike said getting up and following her "Little Xander not going to miss you is he?" 

Tay opened the door then turned around to face the vampire "Jealous?" 

"Just don't forget we've got an ulterior motive here." 

"This is my part of the deal Spike. I do it my way" Tay pointed to the bedroom where Buffy was "That's your end" She smiled tersely before leaving the apartment. 

Spike dropped his cigarette butt to the floor and stomped it out with his boot. He spun on his heel and stormed into Buffy's room. He stopped when he saw the state of her. 

Buffy had a big, nasty bruise coming upon her left cheek and a deep, bleeding cut that ran through the middle of it. Her right eye was beginning to swell up and she had a cut along her eyebrow. She also had large red marks along her lower jaw and throat. 

"Guess you made her mad" Spike said. 

Buffy spat some more blood out "Gee Spike. What gave it away?" 

Spike smirked "It looks good on you." 

"I'm going to kill you both when I get out of here." 

"Promises, promises." 

--------------------

Xander sat on Giles' doorstep. He'd forgotten the key Giles had given him and Willow and Tara weren't going to be arriving for another twenty minutes for their daily get together at Giles'. They had all decided to keep meeting at Giles' at it was easier than moving things about from place to place. 

Willow had told him earlier over the phone that Giles had called her from some place in the south of France where Ren had been six months ago. There had been no luck in Spain except a very weak lead that Giles was now following up. 

Xander leaned back against the door and closed his eyes. It had been a very strange week. The first couple of days had been hard on him. Very hard on him. Xander wasn't quite sure what was going on in Buffy's mind. Buffy seemed to be handling the whole situation better than he was. Sometimes, he wasn't sure… but sometimes he would swear he saw something else in her. Like she was happy… or something. 

--------------------

Willow saw Xander sitting on Giles' doorstep, his knees where drawn up to his chest and his head was resting against the door and he had his eyes closed. Willow smiled sadly. 

When she reached him she crouched down and put a hand on his knee "Hey." 

Xander opened his eyes "Hey Will" he smiled then looked past her "Where's Tara?" 

"Oh, she had some errands to run. Are you going to move so I can open the door?" she asked with a smile. 

Xander stood up and moved so Willow could unlock the door "Buffy's helping her mom out" Xander said "She said she call by later" 

Willow opened the door and walked in and Xander followed, closing the door behind them. 

"How is she?" Willow asked as she checked the answering machine for any messages. There weren't any. 

"She's OK" Xander replied, looking over Willow's shoulder as the redhead opened up her laptop that had been left at Giles' to check for email. There weren't any. 

"You?" Willow asked, turning around to face him. 

"Not so good." 

Willow's brow furrowed in concern "Come on" she said taking his arm and guiding him to the couch. They both sat down "We haven't talked in a while have we?" 

"We've talked Willow." 

"I mean with no-one else about" she replied "Not just you and me." 

"No I guess we haven't" Xander paused "You wanna start now?" 

Willow nodded "I can't try to understand how you're feeling" she said, "I mean, I know how I feel seeing Buffy the way she is… but with you…" Willow trailed off. 

"I just want her back here Willow" Xander said quietly "I want to see *her*" 

"But she is *here*, Xander" Willow pointed out. 

Xander shook his head "*All* of her. I want blonde hair, not black. I want her shorter and not the same height as me. I want her lips, her-her everything. I-I want *my* Buffy" 

"But you *have* *your* Buffy" Willow said, "It shouldn't matter what she looks like" she studied her friend carefully "Should it?" 

"It's not because she looks like Ren" Xander said "She could look like anyone and I'd still feel like… like I'm cheating on her or something" 

"You can't feel that way Xander" Willow put a hand on his shoulder "You're *not* cheating on her" 

"But that's sorta how it feels" Xander said, "At night she wants me to hold her. A-and I can do that. Holding. But... that's it. Kissing is as far as we've gone." 

"You think Buffy might want to… do more?" 

"She was pretty… touchy yesterday" Xander cleared his throat "*Very* touchy in fact"

"Well she is your fiancée Xander and I-I guess it's not a *lot* different to her" 

Xander stood up and walked a few paces "Yeah but it is for me Willow. I *can't* touch her like that. It's wrong. It's not *her* body. It's someone else's. Someone else who has no say in the matter." 

"Yeah well I'm pretty sure Ren wouldn't mind" Willow said, then realised she'd spoken without thinking "I-I mean-" 

Xander turned around to face her, his arms crossed on front of his chest "Willow" Xander interrupted her attempt at covering "Whatever feelings Ren had for me have no place here" 

Willow raised an eyebrow "You know how she felt about you?" 

Xander looked down and scuffed his shoe on the floor "When she came to say goodbye" he said "Some things were said and I-I realised" he looked back up at Willow "Seems you already knew" 

"In the end she was looking at you in the same way as Buffy" Willow told him "They both loved you. And, in my opinion you made the right choice." 

"There was no *choice* Willow" Xander said "I'd already finished with Ren before I even knew how Buffy felt about me" 

"Don't take that tone with me Xander" Willow said, "You know what I mean" she sighed, stood up and went to stand infront of him "You and Buffy are good together. You *fit* with each other" she smiled "To see you two look at each other the way you do makes me all warm and fuzzy inside" Willow's smile then faded a little "But you both have this thing of bottling things up and that's not good. However much you two tell one another to speak up when something's wrong, you hardly ever do. Not straight away, anyway" Willow put her hand on his arm and Xander uncrossed his arms "Xander, if you're uncomfortable at the moment with Buffy wanting to be close to you the way she wants to, you have to tell her" 

"I don't want to hurt her feelings" Xander said. 

"She'll understand Xander" Willow said "Buffy won't hold it against you"

--------------------

__

(Later that evening)

Tay groaned inwardly //Oh for the love of Satan and all his little wizards. No wonder Spike never got anywhere with his little schemes. He's right, these little bastards just keep throwing in one bloody thing after the other//

"… So that's why I just thought I should talk to you… tell you that I feel… well… uncomfortable with the degree of intimacy we've reached" Xander ran a hand through his hair "I love you Buffy, but I-I can't-" Xander broke off and started again "I want to be with you and you want to be with me, but I can't. It's wrong."

Tay hoped she was wearing the appropriate expression "I know. You said" she decided on a shaky sigh "Non violation of other people's property" Tay turned and walked over to Xander's window. She placed both her hands on the windowsill and looked out. //OK. Think quick here. Obviously he's not going to just hop into bed with me now. Plan A scuppered. And they say the age of chivalry is dead. All right. If at first you don't succeed…// Tay smiled inwardly //Cheat//.

"Buffy? Are you OK?"

Tay turned back to face him "I'm fine honey."

"I just… I just don't want to sound cold" he took hold of her hand "Please understand."

"I understand Xander" Tay took hold of his free hand "Come here and look at me" she said softly. She locked onto his gaze "Look at me."

Xander blinked a couple of times quickly and stood a little closer to Tay. Tay dropped both his hands and took hold of his upper arms "Look at me" she said softy again and then smiled when she saw Xander's eyes glaze over slightly "OK, Xander you have to listen to me carefully. Say yes if you understand."

"Yes."

Tay smiled "Good boy. All right. When I take you out of this trance you'll remember having the conversation we had about you feeling uncomfortable about being close to me. Understand?"

"Yes."

"You'll also remember that I understood completely and there is no problem with how we are around each other. Understand?"

"Yes."

"Very good. Now, what I'm about to tell you, you won't remember when you come out of the trance until I say a certain phrase. The phrase is-" Tay broke off and tried to think of something. Soon she did "Mirror Mirror on the Wall" Tay smiled "And when I say that Xander, you won't remember the conversation we've just had about you feeling uncomfortable. Instead you'll think of me as Buffy. Your fiancée. You love me and you want to *show* me how much you love me. You'll do whatever I tell you. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"What's the phrase I use?"

"Mirror Mirror on the wall."

"Well remembered. OK, Now when I kiss you on the forehead you'll come out of the trance. Understand?"

"Yes."

Tay smiled again and leant forward and kissed him. Xander's eyes unglazed and he blinked a few times rapidly, allowing Tay to pull back slightly.

"I… I'm glad you understand" Xander said with a smile.

"I do" Tay said, "Look… I've got to go back and help mom. I'll drop back in before I go on patrol."

"You want me to come with you?"

Tay hesitated, pondering this request "Yeah. I'd like that" she said, then added with a smile "I'll show you a new technique I've been working on."

--------------------

__

(Later that day)

As soon as she got into her apartment, Tay took off her jacket and threw it on the floor, before sighing heavily and sinking down on to the couch next to Spike.

"Hard day at the office?" Spike said without looking up from the knife he was sharpening.

"On the contrary."

"Then why the sigh" he looked up from his task and at her.

"That was more of a sigh of satisfaction my dear Spike" she smiled "We're going to be out of here in less than a week" //Of course we could be out of here tonight, but… a girl's got to get some practice in…//

"You're *serious*?"

"Deadly. Got the boy just where I want him" she sighed again "Did the delivery come?

"I put it in the monitor room. I unpacked it" Spike said "I hope you're going to do with it what I think you are, luv"

Tay smiled "Well we can't have the little princess being bored, can we? I thought if she had a nice telly to watch it would make her last days more pleasant."

Spike smirked "Always thinking of others."

"I'm nice like that" Tay replied with a grin "She give you anymore trouble after I went?"

"Hardly a squeak. She's just been staring off into space" Spike replied "Noticed she don't look too pretty anymore either"

"She was rude," Tay said in a mock sad tone "I was hurt by her comments about me… so I hurt her"

"Tut tut Tay. You *know* violence never solves *anything*"

"But it's so much *fun*" Tay grinned wickedly and she stood up "Now come on, we need to hook this TV up to the monitors then we put it in the other room so ickle Buffy can get an eyeful of me living her life"

"It's *we* now is it?" Spike said and Tay turned to face him "This morning" he continued "You seemed very sure that it was going to be just *you*"

Tay sighed "Yes, well I was in a bad mood" she paused "But you do bring up an interesting point. If we're going to argue, we don't do it in front of her. If she thinks we're divided, she'll try and play us off against one another."

Spike nodded in agreement and followed after Tay.

--------------------

Buffy narrowed her eyes at the TV when Tay and Spike brought it in "I know I said I wanted to catch up on my soaps" she said sarcastically "But you didn't have to do this"

"Do you want me to break your legs?" Tay said lightly "'Cos I can do that. Just say the word and I'll get a sledgehammer."

"Now, now you two" Spike said "You're spoiling the lovely, friendly atmosphere we've been buildin' up here all week."

"You're right Spike" Tay said, "What was I thinking?"

"Just cut the crap you two" Buffy spat out "Let me guess, the TV set is for me to watch you and Xander right?"

"Well that saves us having to explain it to her" Spike said "Hope the screen's big enough."

"Wouldn't want you to miss anything," Tay added with a smile "Speaking of which, I'd better get off. Things to… *do* and all that"

"You back later?" Spike asked Tay.

"No. Tomorrow. Early afternoon probably" she replied.

"Have fun" Spike said, sitting down in a chair as Tay left. He looked at Buffy "What's the matter Slayer? You just gonna keep schtum the entire time?"

Buffy didn't answer. She rotated her shoulders as much as she could, trying to get some feeling back into them. Her legs weren't all that better. Her hips were aching and she couldn't flex her ankles because of the way they were shackled. Buffy could barely feel her toes and fingers. The clasps were tight over her wrists and ankles, so even her slim wrists couldn't slip through

She had struggled on the chains every time Spike had left the room, hoping that each time she tried she might loosen something. But she never felt any thing give, alerting her to a glimmer of hope of actually getting out. Getting out and getting to Xander.

Buffy swallowed hard. Spike had just switched on the TV and she was presented with a black and white picture. It was a view of Xander's sitting room and Buffy figured the camera was set up in the corner above the door judging by the angle. Xander wasn't in the picture that Buffy could see at the moment, but she could see shadows flickering on the floor by the kitchen door.

Buffy looked around the rest of the apartment she could see. Everything was normal. She could make out Xander's jacket hanging over the back of the couch and there were some dirty dishes on the low table that was in front of it. It was normal. And Buffy wanted to be there. 

She wanted to be there with Xander. She wanted to be sitting with him on the couch, leaning against him and they watched some god-awful Kung Fu movie and Xander would let her bitch about how unrealistic the moves were. She wanted to be able to curl up in his lap and feel the touch of his fingers against the back of her neck. She wanted to be there, be where she felt safe, warm and loved.

Instead she was chained to a bed with no chance of escape and watched over by a bleach blond vampire that was just waiting to kill her.

Then Buffy saw Xander walk out of the kitchen and into the picture. Xander sat down on the couch and kicked his feet up on to the low table. Buffy kept her eyes on him. Committing the image to memory. Committing it along with the other happy memories she had been using to keep her from losing her grip.

"Only a few more days, Slayer" Spikes words broke into her thoughts "A few more days and Tay'll get him" Spike slipped in to his game face and leaned closer to her so they were nose to nose "And I'll get you"

Buffy looked coldly into his golden eyes "I hope you choke on me"

Spike just grinned and pressed his face to her neck. He ran his fangs along her neckline "I can smell your blood" he whispered in her ear "I can feel the heat of it. All of it just pulsing away under your skin" Spike ran his tongue over the vein in her neck "Tay taught me some tricks" he whispered "With her help I can feed from you. Drain you. No pain for me" his fingers ghosted over one of her breasts "Just pleasure."

"Then why don't you just do it now?" Buffy hissed.

Spike clasped his fingers over hers and pulled back so he was nose to nose with her again "I want to see you hurting first. I want to see you the pain on your face when you have to watch Tay make love to Xander. Watch him do things to her that you only want him to do to you. Hear him call her by your name. See the realisation on his face when he realises he's about to die and then the *pain* on *his* face when he realises he is" Spike leaned to whisper in her ear again "Watch your face when you see the life go from him. A life that you could have been in" Spike growled deep in his throat when Buffy tried to pull away from him. Then he began to laugh and morphed back into his human visage. He pulled back from her and went and stood by the blacked out window.

"I'm going to have the time of my life" he said "How about you?"

Buffy used all her willpower to hold back a retort. She was determined not to let Spike get to her. He was *not* going to get to her. Buffy took a deep breath, hoping to compose herself. She stared coldly at Spike for a few long moments. 

He returned the gesture by just having a smirk on his face. 

Buffy looked back to the screen. Xander had gotten up from the couch and was now standing by the window. Buffy kept her composure as well as she could. If she kept telling herself nothing bad was going to happen then it wouldn't. She'd been in bad situations before. Situations that had almost killed her. This was nothing different. Xander was going to figure things out, she was going to get out of this room and everything was going to be fine. 

It was going to be fine.

She just had to keep telling herself that.

--------------------

__

(Later that night)

Tay and Xander had spent about half an hour walking around one of Sunnydale's many cemeteries. Tay hadn't actually minded doing these 'patrols'. Of course she needed to do them just in case one of the little munchkins decided to tag along and surprise her, but as well as that she liked the mindless violence that went with it.

Xander cast a sidelong glance at her and smiled. He reached for her hand and gave it a comforting squeeze when he caught it. Tay turned her head to look at him.

"What?" she said.

"Nothing" Xander replied "Just felt like it."

Tay smiled //Let's see what else you feel like//. She stopped walking but Xander continued. Tay pulled him back.

"You just felt like it?" she repeated. Tay took his other hand and stepped a little nearer to him.

"Yup" Xander grinned then his eyes widened just a little "Uh, Buffy honey. What's that you're doing with your hand there?"

Tay had let got of one of his hands and hers was now roaming slowly up his chest to his shoulder.

"Um, Buffy?" Xander continued "I-I thought we-" Xander was silenced by Tay's lips on his. He didn't have time to react as Tay pulled back and then put her lips to his ears and Xander heard the words "Mirror Mirror on the wall" being whispered in his ear.

Tay took the hand she was still holding of Xander's and placed it on her waist. She looked Xander in the eyes before kissing him again, harder this time. She smiled inwardly when he responded

Xander pulled her closer to him with the hand on her waist and his other hand came up to the back of her head and he threaded his fingers through her hair "Want you" he murmured against her lips before crushing his own against them again.

//My this boy is fast// "Not here" Tay murmured back. She caught hold his hand and pulled him back towards a close gathering of trees behind a large crypt about a hundred feet away.

Tay pushed Xander against the cold stone wall of the crypt. She rested her hands against the wall either side of his head and Xander grabbed her butt with both hands, pulling her closer to him. 

Xander looked into brilliant blue eyes "You couldn't have picked somewhere less public?" Xander said.

"This is hardly public" Tay replied and she ground her hips against his, smiling widely when she felt his arousal "But you wanna go home" she continued "You just say the word"

Xander answered her by forcing his lips onto hers. Tay smiled inwardly again as she sank into the kiss, letting Xander dominate. She had to know whether she could get him to be the one to make moves. If Buffy could see that Tay was the one initiating everything then it wouldn't have the same effect. Xander pulled her even closer to him and Tay heard herself moan into the kiss //Oh great Tay. Way to get carried away//

A few moments later they both pulled back to catch their breath. Xander brought one hand up and brushed some of her hair behind before bringing it to rest on her cheek, cupping it "Buffy…."

"Sshh. Talk later" Tay shrugged off her jacket.

Xander smiled and kissed her again and began to gently manoeuvre them both to the ground. Xander broke off the kiss as he laid her gently on her back. He pulled off the sweater and T-shirt he wore and tossed them both off to the side. Tay ran a hand up his chest and Xander caught it, kissing her palm and placing it back down on the ground by her side. Xander leant over her and put his hands either side of her head. 

They looked at each other in silence for a few moments before Xander lowered his head and kissed her deeply again. Tay brought a hand up to his head and threaded her fingers through his hair.

//There's a lot to be said about practice// Tay thought as she and Xander began to lose themselves to the moment.

-------------------

It was the early hours of the morning before Xander and Tay left the cemetery. They'd walked pretty much in silence as soon as they'd left. But it was a comfortable silence. From Xander's point of view anyway.

As soon as they'd reached a point where it was decision time to go to either Joyce's or to Xander's, Xander turned to Tay "Are you going back to your mom's?" he asked.

Tay nodded "I told her I'd be there for breakfast. I might as well stay" she smiled "I'd rather go back to yours," she said coyly.

"Nothing stopping you honey" Xander replied with a grin.

//Yes there is// Tay thought //I don't want Spike to know just how far I've got. Gonna be a problem with cameras in the house//.

Tay pouted "I promised mom" she looped her arms around his neck "I'll come see you at work for lunch though, if you want"

"Oh, I want" Xander grinned.

Tay grinned back "OK. I'll be at Giles' with Willow and Tara first but I'll see you later" Tay pulled herself closer to him and looked deep into his eyes "Hey Xander. Look at me" Tay held his gaze and coaxed him until she saw his eyes glaze over slightly "You remember I told you that when I said a certain phrase, that you'd remember nothing about the conversation we had?"

Xander nodded and Tay continued "Do you remember that I said you'd do whatever I asked you?"

"Yes."

"Good. Xander, I want you to forget what we did tonight. You'll only remember that we went on patrol and we killed a few vampires and now we're just walking home, I'm going to go back to my mom's and then I'm going to see you at lunch tomorrow. Do you think you can do that?"

"Yes."

"OK. When I kiss you on the forehead, you'll come out of the trance" Tay dropped her arms from Xander's neck before leaning forward and placed a quick kiss on Xander's head.

Xander blinked a couple of times before focusing back on Tay. Xander smiled and then he reached up and plucked something from Tay's hair "Twig" he said holding it for her to see "How'd it get there?"

Tay shrugged and Xander just dropped it to the floor. He looped his arm through hers "So, you gonna walk me home or not?" he asked.

"Sure sweetie."

--------------------

Willow and Tara were already at Giles' the next morning when Tay arrived. 

"Hey guys" Tay greeted the two witches "How are you?"

"Cursing under our breaths about the lack of communication from Giles' supposed friends," Willow said.

"So nothing new then?" Tay said, "OK. Not good."

"Willow and I have been pouring over spell books" Tara informed her "We've been hoping we can find some way of magnifying a less powerful witch or warlock so they could do the spell."

//Yeah, good luck with *that*// "Have you found anything?" Tay asked.

"Nothing yet" Willow replied "But we're keeping on it" Willow batted Tay's arm lightly "How are *you*****?"

"I'm doing OK" Tay replied "Xander and I had a talk last night. Got some things sorted out" she changed the subject "Anything from Giles?"

"Oh, he called about half an hour ago" Willow said "He's in London now."

"Wasn't he just in France?" Tay was interested "He didn't stay long there."

"Well, he had a bit of a lead" Willow said, her tone getting happier "He doesn't know if it's good or not, but he's checking it out anyways"

"Well see, there's good news" Tay said, remembering to keep in character and feign enthusiasm.

"Well he did sound pretty positive" Willow allowed a small smile to play on her lips "You wanna help us look through spell books?"

"Sure. But how do I know if I've found anything useful?" Tay said //Not that I'll tell you I if do//

"Uh… Buffy has a point there Willow" Tara said.

"Oh… uh" something caught Willow's eye on one of Giles' bookshelves. She walked over and picked it up, handing it to Tay "I saw Giles with this before he left" Willow told Tay "I think he was making notes in it or something "I haven't really had a chance to check through it. May be you wanna?"

Tay looked at the thick book Willow had given her. It looked like one of many of Giles' numerous volumes of demonology but there were also quite a few pages marked with pieces of paper "Notes on what?" she asked with *un*feigned interest.

Tara spoke up "Uh... I mentioned to him about us contacting the nether realm" and Tara briefly explained what it was "I saw something strange there and I told him."

Willow looked to her girlfriend "You didn't tell me you saw anything" she said, slightly hurt.

"I-I didn't want to worry you" Tara said quickly "I thought with everything else…" Tara trailed off and looked at the floor, a guilty expression on her face.

Willow's look softened and she put her hand on her girlfriends shoulder and Tara looked back up at her "It's OK. It's nice you didn't want me to worry" she smiled at Tara.

Tay turned away from the two witches and rolled her eyes //Sap I can do without// Tay examined the book again //All right, lets see what we've got here//.

Tay sat down at the table while the two witches sat back down on the couch and continued their perusal of spell books. Tay put the book on the table and turned to the first page that Giles had marked and began to read.

--------------------

As soon as Xander returned to work after seeing Tay at lunch, he was immediately confronted by his boss, Jack.

"Xander, Xander, Xander" Jack clapped his hand on Xander's shoulder "You're just asking for trouble aren't you?"

Xander turned to him "Huh?"

"Just saw you on your break" Jack said "And if I'm not mistaken the lovely lady I saw you with was the one you were seeing before Buffy. Am I right?"

"Oh… uh, um yeah" Xander faltered "Ren. Yeah she just came back to Sunnydale. Flying visit."

"Really?" Jack gave him a dubious look "Buffy knows she's here, does she?"

"Ye-eah" Xander gave his boss an odd look "What's it got to do with anything?"

"You're doing a bad, bad thing cheating on that girlfriend of yours" Jack replied "A bad, bad thing."

"Cheating? Huh? What?"

"Don't play the innocent with me Xander. I saw you gettin' all hot and heavy with the Ren girl."

Xander gave Jack and extremely puzzled look "Jack, *what* are you talking about? We weren't doing *anything*"

"Not what it looked like from my point of view Xander" Jack tutted "Deny it all you want then. But you're doing a bad, bad thing" he said again before walking away.

Xander stared after him //What the hell is he talking about? I was just talking to Buffy. I think I'd remember if there was any groping// Xander shook his head //Jack must have been seeing things. I'd remember something like that. I would. Wouldn't I?//.

---------------------------------------

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(Later that evening) (Los Angeles: Angel Investigations)

Cordelia let the filing cabinet drawer shut with a slam after she had placed the last of her huge stack of files in it. She went back behind the desk and sank down in to her chair, closing her eyes and kicking her feet up on to the desk.

The office was fairly quiet so Cordelia was taking advantage of the situation to grab a few well deserved minutes of rest. She sighed contentedly.

Then the phone rang.

Cordelia groaned loudly in frustration. She took her feet off the desk and reached for the phone.

"Angel Investigations. We help the helpless… oh hey Giles… yeah, he's here… I'll put you through" Cordelia hit a button on her phone "Angel… Giles is on the phone… well he didn't say…OK" Cordelia hit a button on her phone again, transferring Giles' call to Angel. 

Cordelia sighed again and put her feet back on the desk. She pulled open the top drawer of her desk and took out a magazine. She began to flick through the pages and she'd skimmed over a handful of pages before the sound of the outer office door being opened drew her attention.

Cordelia discarded her magazine and plastered a bright smile on her face "Hello. Angel Investigations. We help the helpless" she addressed the woman who had entered the office cheerfully. The woman was fairly tall and pretty with pale blue hair, similar in style and length to Cordelia's.

The woman raised her eyebrows "Catchy little slogan ya got there"

"Well that's our motto" Cordelia replied "We 'help the helpless'" she looked at the other woman "So… are you helpless?"

"'Fraid not" was the reply "I want to talk to Angel"

"Oh… well he's taking a call at the moment" Cordelia said, "Do you want to wait?"

"Sure, I've got-" she broke off and both women turned to the outer door to see Wesley staggering in, covered head to toe in green goop.

"Wesley" Cordelia looked between him and the woman "You couldn't have used the *other* door?" she hissed.

The woman smirked "Tichor demon was it?"

Wesley looked at her and blinked "Um… yes. H-how did you-"

"The smell" she replied "Nasty little bastards those things are. It'll take you a week to get rid of the pong by the way."

"Oh great" Cordelia rolled her eyes "And we finally got the office aired out after the last smelly demon" Cordelia looked back at the stranger "Why do you want to see Angel?"

"I was hoping I could borrow something of his" she replied.

"Like what?" came Angel's voice from behind her. The woman turned around and Angel sighed "Oh… it's *you*"

"Oh well that's a lovely way to greet someone" she replied "You gotta love that vampire charm"

"Forgive me Ren, but the last time we spoke you *hit* me" Angel replied.

"You deserved it" Ren replied.

"So I guess you two know each other then?" Cordelia remarked.

"Barely" Angel replied "What brings you here?" he asked Ren

"I believe she wanted to borrow something" Wesley interceded, taking off his jacket and throwing it straight in the wastebasket.

"Yeah" Ren said "Rumour has it around these parts you have a rather lovely weapons collection and I was hoping you might have a Ceneca knife. If you do, I need to borrow it."

"Why?" Angel asked.

"'Cos I need to kill a Ceneca demon and that's the only thing that'll do it" Ren replied "So have you got one?" she smiled brightly at him.

"I have" Angel folded his arms across his chest.

Ren put her hands on her hips "Well can I borrow it?"

"Will I get it back?"

"You don't *trust* me?"

Angel sat on the corner of Cordelia's desk and sighed "*Why* do you need to kill a Ceneca demon?"

"New PTB job" Ren replied "Look, Angel. I won't need it for long. A day at most. I'll bring it back. I'll even *sterilise* it if you want me to"

"Oh, you work for the PTB too?" Cordelia asked.

Ren turned to her "Yeah. Only occasionally though. You're the one who gets the visions right?"

"Uh huh" Cordelia nodded "That's me. Vision girl."

"Interesting job" Ren said "Are they like little movies or-"

Angel cleared his throat "Um... knife?

Ren turned back to him "Oh right. Knife. So…?"

"You can have it" Angel replied "And I *would* like it back" Angel headed downstairs and returned a few minutes later with a wrapped object and handed it to Ren.

"Excellent" Ren said, "I'll bring it back tomorrow"

"That is if the demon doesn't kill you" Cordelia said bluntly.

"Oh, there's not a *lot* of things that'll kill me" Ren said, turning to her "Tall, dark and broody here tried once. Kicked his butt real good."

Cordelia and Wesley both looked at Angel in surprise but he ignored them. Wesley and Cordelia looked at each other and exchanged glances "Come on Wes" Cordelia said, "I'm sure Angel doesn't want you stinking up his office" she grabbed hold of his arm and proceed to drag him downstairs.

Angel spoke to Ren again "Look, seeing as how I've done a favour for you, I don't suppose you know anyone who's capable of performing a Cathanian spell, do you?"

Ren raised both her eyebrows "That's a tall order" she said "Not many of those guys about" she tucked the knife in the back of her jeans "Why do you need someone."

"I don't" he replied "Giles does… well, more like a friend of his needs someone. He asked me if I knew anyone or could find someone. I haven't had much luck so far."

"Well I know someone" Ren said "But she won't help."

"How do you know?" Angel asked, "You haven't asked"

"I *know*" Ren said "Because she's *evil*. She only does *evil* things" Ren ran a hand through her hair "Rupert's really in a bind?" she asked.

"I spoke to him just now" Angel told her "He'd rather have someone sooner rather than later, if that's what you mean."

"Well other than Tay, I don't know anyone." Ren sighed "I should probably drop by and see him."

Angel's brow furrowed "I thought you weren't going back to Sunnydale."

Ren gave him a puzzled look "What?"

"Giles told me" Angel explained "He said you sent a letter"

"A letter?"

"Y'know a little bit of paper with writing on it" Angel said sarcastically "He said Xander was upset that you hadn't told *him* you weren't coming back"

"Xander? What *are* you talking about?" Ren said, "I never sent any letter"

"You never sent a letter?" Angel repeated.

Ren shook her head "No" she said slowly "I didn't" she paused "Rupert thinks I'm not coming back?"

"And Xander" Angel said. He stood up "Looks like someone's been writing for you."

"Xander thinks I'm not coming back? How could he think that? Even if I wasn't coming back I would have written and told *him*"

"You still have feelings for him" Angel pointed out.

"They don't just go away" she said holding his look "*You* should know that"

Angel didn't reply.

Ren sighed "Gotta kill this demon first, then I'll go back" Ren headed towards the door "Sort this whole thing out"

--------------------

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(Next morning) (Time: 10.00am)

Spike was quite happily dozing in one of the chairs in the monitor room when he felt someone tap him lightly on the shoulder. He opened one bleary eye to see Tay standing over him. "Mornin'" he said. 

"Hard at work I see" Tay said. She looked at the screens "Anything unusual?"

"Nope" he turned to look at her "How are we on the shagging front?" 

Tay grinned "Tonight Spike, everything's going to come together." 

Spike raised an eyebrow "Pun intended?" 

Tay rolled her eyes and headed out of the room. Spike followed her. "I feel really good about myself," he said as they entered Buffy's room "I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the fact that I get to kill someone tonight." 

"It's a good feeling isn't it" Tay agreed. She turned to Buffy "What are your thoughts?" 

"I hope you both die" Buffy replied. 

"Not before you" Spike grinned "Oh this is going to be a fantastic day" he turned to Tay "I'll leave you two birds alone" and with that he left the room. 

Tay closed the door behind him then sat down on the edge of the bed "So how does it feel knowing what's going to happen?" she asked. 

Buffy didn't answer; she just glared coldly at Tay. 

Tay smiled cruelly "Your boyfriends sure got some stamina hasn't he?" Tay said "For a human anyway" she laughed when she saw Buffy's eyes widen slightly "I've seen that scar he's got just below his-" 

"You bitch" Buffy struggled in her chains "You leave him *alone*!" 

Tay just laughed "You keep saying that Buffy, but I don't see it happening" Tay stood up "The way he kisses me" she said mock dreamily for Buffy's benefit "Just makes me all tingly and goosebumpy". Tay walked around to the other side of the room and leaned against the wall "And he just tastes so good" she sighed "Just… all that lickable… skin" 

"Just shut up!" Buffy cried, trying not to let her emotions get the better of her "Just shut up!" 

Tay ignored her "Last night was… just wow" she smiled "Knows all the right spots to hit" Tay sighed "And the things he can do with his-" 

"Just stop it!" Buffy failed to hold back a sob "Stop it!" she struggled uselessly in her bonds "I hate you!" Buffy felt the tears begin to roll down her cheeks and she cursed herself for letting it happen. She had wanted to stay strong, to show them that she couldn't be broken. And now she had given them what they wanted. Buffy glared through her tears at Tay as the other woman began to laugh. Buffy's chest was heaving because of her sobbing and she couldn't hurl back a retort. Buffy tried to compose herself, try to clear her mind, but it was no good. Tay had succeeded in planting a seed and no matter how hard she tried, Buffy couldn't stop the images of Tay and Xander slipping into her mind. 

Then Tay walked over to her and Buffy tried to pull away when the other woman grabbed hold of her throat with one hand. But she wasn't strong enough and Buffy felt herself being pulled forward, her arms were stretched painfully and her breathing became hard to do. 

"How does it feel Slayer? Knowing that I've taken what's yours?" Tay looked directly into her eyes "Are you angry? Does it hurt? Right. Here?" Tay prodded Buffy's chest hard "Does it?" 

Suddenly Buffy felt white hot rage flow throw her veins "The only way" she managed to rasp out "Xander would sleep with you is if you tricked him" Buffy drew in a deep breath as Tay let go of her throat and threw her back. "He wouldn't even give you the time of day if he knew who you really were " Buffy continued, letting her anger take control "Tell me. Do you have to trick all the guys-" Buffy was cut off abruptly by a stinging backhand from Tay. Buffy looked at her; a triumphant look in her eyes "Hit a nerve did I?" Buffy let out a choked cry of laughter, glad that she had managed to get under Tay's skin a little, but the laughter soon merged in to more of a sob as she remembered Xander and his fate. 

Tay just gave Buffy a look of contempt and turned around to leave but she came face to face with an extremely pissed off looking Spike. Tay rolled her eyes and went to push past him but Spike placed a hand on her chest, stopping her. 

"I think we need to have a little chat luv," he said in a dangerously quiet voice "I think someone's been telling porkies" 

Buffy looked on with interest as Tay was not so gently shoved further back in to the room by the vampire. She studied Spike and he did not look happy. Buffy gathered by this little revelation that Spike hadn't known anything about Tay and Xander… Buffy broke off that thought right there and concentrated on the scene enfolding before her. 

Spike looked Tay coldly "So" he said, "You've been shagging the little bastard already have you?" Spike crossed his arms in front of his chest "Tell me. How soon *could* we have been out of here?" 

"Spike" Tay put on a too sweet voice "You know even the best performers have to warm up before the main event" 

"I don't give a flying *fuck* Tay" Spike spat out "I believed everything you told me. I *trusted* you!" 

"Well I think that was bloody stupid on your part wasn't it!" 

Spike lashed out and his fist landed on Tay's jaw and she fell to the floor "Don't ever call me stupid!" he yelled. Spike morphed in to his game face and took hold of a standing lamp and hit Tay with it as she tried to stand up. "I could have killed her by now!" 

Tay managed to block the second blow of the lamp "You wanted to see her in pain, remember" Tay said, wiping blood from her mouth "That was what *you* wanted!" 

"Yeah, well I'm thinking that maybe I'll just dispense with all that and just rip her throat out now!" Spike threw the lamp to the floor and made a move towards Buffy but Tay grabbed hold of his arm. 

"You can't even scratch her skin " Tay pointed out "You can't lay a finger on her without my help!" 

Spike's eyes glowed even more yellow and he hit Tay hard again "Well you're just going to have to help me then aren't you!" 

Tay looked up at him from the floor "I'll do no such thing" she growled, her own face rippling into it's demon visage of three ridges running across her forehead "You're pathetic Spike" 

Spike growled back "You'll help me you bloody *bitch* or I'll break every bone in your body!" 

Tay just looked at him "I would *really* love to see you try" she said with a twisted smile. 

"*Fine*!" Spike lunged towards her but Tay shot out her free hand and Spike immediately reeled back and slammed against the nearest wall. He got up quickly and raced towards her but Tay sent him flying again with another blast. 

Spike stood up holding his head "You can't even fight fair!" 

Another twisted smile formed on Tay's lips "Damn straight." 

A stake appeared from nowhere in front of Spike. It hovered at a point just in front of his heart. Spike backed away but the stake followed him. He tried to grab hold of it and get it away but it wouldn't budge. Spike looked at Tay and cleared his throat, humbled by this latest development "Maybe we can come to some arrangement?" 

"I don't think so Spike. I'm still going to go ahead with the plan" she told Spike as he continued to try and move away from the stake "I can still kill the Slayer *and* her boyfriend at the same time" she laughed "Don't know why I didn't do it before" 

"Tay…" Spike started. 

"Bye Spike" Tay said and before Spike could do anything about it the stake plunged through his chest and into his unbeating heart. Tay turned to Buffy who in turn blinked in disbelief at the pile of ashes that used to be one of her biggest enemies. "In future I think I'll work alone," Tay said. Then she looked at Buffy quizzically for a few moments "Do you want your death to be quick and painful or *slow* and painful?" Tay asked. 

"Can I phone a friend?" Buffy's tone lacked humour.

"Sorry no *life* lines" Tay's tone of reply matched Buffy's "In fact" she continued "I've decided for you" Tay left the room and closed the door behind her and Buffy was left alone for about five minutes before the other woman returned. 

"So" Buffy said, "What have you decided?" 

Tay produced a syringe, filled with a pale green liquid "I think slow and painful" 

Buffy closed her eyes as she felt the needle prick against the skin of her upper arm and she stifled a moan of pain as she felt it press into her flesh. She guessed Tay had pressed the plunger when she felt a cool sensation begin to spread over the area where Tay had inserted the needle. 

"There" Tay said as she stood back "If you're lucky you'll stay alive for at least four hours" Tay threw the syringe to the floor "Enough time for you to watch me kill Xander" Tay then muttered a few words of Latin and clapped her hands together. Buffy immediately felt her head being drawn towards the TV set by the foot of the bed. She tried to draw her eyes away but she couldn't. Although she could blink, everytime her eyes fluttered open again she saw the screen and the picture it held of Xander's apartment. 

"Happy viewing" Tay said as she now stood in the door way "Just so you know" she continued with a big smile "There will be gratuitous violence and lots of blood shed" and with that last remark Tay left the room and closed the door behind her. 

Leaving Buffy with nothing to do but wait to watch Xander die. 

--------------------

A few moments later after leaving Buffy, Tay grabbed her head in pain with both hands. The pain soon disappeared but Tay's annoyance didn't. "I can't catch a break!" she cried, "Bloody sentry spell! Bloody sister!" Tay grabbed her jacket off the back of one of the chairs "Fine. The Hellmouth wants to deal me these bloody cards, then I'll fucking well play with 'em."

-------------------

__

(Same day) (Time: 11.00am)

"Willow! Willow!" Tara came barrelling into Giles', taking her girlfriend by surprise "Look! I've found something!" 

Willow stood up quickly and went to Tara, placing her hands on the blonde's shoulders to calm her down "What? What have you found?" 

"This book" Tara held up a small, thin, leather bound book "Y'know one of the other girls who used to be in the Wicca group, Wendy? Well she was going to throw some stuff away, but she gave me a box to root through before she did and I found this" Tara gave Willow the book and Willow opened it where Tara had obviously marked a page. 

Willow read down the page then she read it a couple of more times before looking back to Tara "This *is* something" she said "We need to talk to Xander" 

"I hear my name?" 

"Xander" Willow grabbed him by the arm and pulled him further into the room "We need your mind." 

"That's not something I here too often" Xander grinned "OK. What can I do for you?" 

"We need you to remember the night that Buffy switched" Willow explained "Tara's found something" 

"The explosions and the lights" Tara said "They don't match." 

"They don't match?" Xander gave her a puzzled look "What do you mean?" 

"They shouldn't have happened" Tara told him "I found a spell book. It gives some detailed accounts of the process of a Cathanian transfer spell." 

"And?" Xander was still confused. 

"The accounts say nothing about any explosions or lights or anything that resembled what we saw" Willow said, "The transfer should have just happened. Y'know *poof*. One minute she looks like Buffy and the next like Ren. No big bangs or flashing lights." 

"I'm still confused," Xander admitted. 

"Well so am I" Tara said "That's why we need your mind. We want you to remember what *exactly* happened that night" 

"We want details" Willow added "Anything little thing that you can remember" 

"Well I told you all I could" Xander replied "Plus I got that bump on the head." 

Tara turned to Willow "We could regress him back" she said; "It might work" 

"Hypnotise him?" Willow looked at her girlfriend dubiously "Are you sure." 

"Can't hurt" Tara said. 

"Hey girls?" Xander waved his hand "Still here." 

Willow turned back to him "We wanna hypnotise you Xander." 

"Yeah, I got that," Xander said "But how?" 

"I can do it" Tara said, "I've done it a couple of times before." 

"You have?" Willow said. 

"W-well, o-on dogs" Tara admitted. 

"Full of confidence here" Xander remarked. 

Willow frowned at him and Xander gave Tara an apologetic look "Sorry" he said, "Just taking in the news." 

"It's OK" Tara said with a small smile "It's the same process" 

"All right" Xander said, "How do we do this? Do you need to dangle a watch in front of me or something?" 

"Not unless you want me to" Tara grinned "OK" she gestured to the couch "Take a seat" Xander sat and Tara knelt in front of him "OK Xander. Because I haven't done this before I'm going to have to do a double check and just make sure no one's put a whammy on you or anything. Sort of like clearing out any work people might have already put in." 

"Is that necessary?" Willow asked. 

"Easier for me this way" Tara said, looking at her "First time and everything" she turned back to Xander "OK. You need to look into my eyes and focus on a point behind them" she leaned a little closer to Xander and they held each others looks "Now I want you to try and clear your mind of everything and concentrate on my voice" 

Willow stood back and watched as Tara began to gradually lull Xander in to a sort of trance. Once she saw Tara was sure, her girlfriend got Xander to clear his mind of any suggestions that might have been put in it. Once that had been done Tara began to regress Xander back. 

"Buffy and I were talking about telling you guys about us getting engaged" he started. Xander was sitting back further in the seat and his eyes were closed "Then we were going to go join up with you then suddenly there was a flash of blue light. Buffy went to check it out and told me to stay where I was and I did. I didn't hear anything like a fight or anything but Buffy hadn't given it the all clear so I began to go towards the light. I called out her name but she didn't answer then there was an explosion. I got knocked back, but I heard Buffy cry out" 

"What happened then?" Tara asked in a soft voice. "I got up and called her name again. I went towards the light again but then there was another bang and I… I remember hitting my head." 

Tara's brow furrowed a little "Do you remember anything after that?" she asked "Anything at all? Someone you might have seen that you didn't recognise? A noise?" 

Xander shook his head slightly "No" he answered "I remember waking up and seeing Ren" Xander paused "But it wasn't" he frowned a little "There was something I saw…" he trailed off, searching for the right words "There… there was something… in her eyes…" Xander trailed off again.

Willow tapped Tara on the shoulder and she turned to face her. "Buffy?" Willow mouthed the question silently. 

Tara turned back to Xander "Are you sure you can't remember anything else Xander?" 

Xander shook his head "No" he said slowly. 

Tara sighed with resignation and brought Xander out of it. He blinked a couple of times and then looked at her hopefully. Tara gave him a sad smile and Xander sighed. 

He stood up and headed towards the door. "Where are you going?" Willow asked, "You only just got here" 

Xander turned back to her "I'm kinda a-a little… fuzzy" he said "I'm going to go clear my head" and before either of the witches could protest he left. 

--------------------

__

(Time: 11.10)

Ren raised her hand to knock on Giles' door but before she made contact with the wood she had second thoughts and lowered her hand.

She sighed and stepped to the side to peer through the small window by the door. Ren smiled to herself when she saw the familiar form of Xander. He was talking to Willow and the blonde girl that Ren vaguely remembered from before. Xander didn't look that much different to Ren. He'd let his hair grow a little longer and she noticed that his dress sense hadn't improved. Ren sighed when Xander turned slightly so she had a better view of his profile //But he still has that adorable smile//.

Ren backed away from the window //And he looks like he's just fine// Ren began to walk away //Maybe I'll come back later and talk to Rupert alone before I talk to Xander//.

--------------------

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(Time: 11.30)

Ren walked into Willy's bar, knowing the place would be open. She was the only person there so she took a seat by the bar. When the guy she remembered as Willy turned around he did a double take.

"Uh… hey?"

"Just a beer" Ren said.

"Uh… kay…" Willy went to turn around but his attention was caught by someone else entering the bar. He looked back at Ren who gave him an odd look before she herself felt a familiar feeling travel through her body.

Ren turned her head slowly to the entrance and looked at the newcomer for a few long moments before getting off her stool.

"What are you doing here?" Ren asked.

Tay grinned "At the moment I'm looking for you."

Ren took a step nearer to her sister "Why are you in Sunnydale?"

"Thought I'd check out the so-called Hellmouth they've got here" Tay walked up to the bar and leaned against it "So far I've found it fun"

"You caused a lot of trouble in France, Tay" Ren said "A lot of people got hurt."

Tay walked over to her sister and stood right in front of her "That's such a shame" she said, not meaning a word "But you know me…"

"Yeah, I do" Ren said slowly, not liking the strange smile that her sister had "And that means I know you're not just here for the supernatural tourist attractions."

"Well I have found some other attractions that I wanted to experience… no wait… I *have* experienced them"

"What?"

"You'll never find out" Tay replied and before her sister had time to react, Tay shot out her arm and Ren reeled back from the invisible blast of power from Tay's outstretched palm.

"Hey!" Willy shouted "No magic. House rules!"

Tay ignored him and stood over Ren who was dazed from the blast and struggling to get to her feet. Tay sneered at her and kicked her in the head, sending Ren to the floor again. "Say bye bye."

Ren barely heard her sister's words before Tay's foot connected with the side of her head again.

"I'd love to stay and chat" Tay spoke to the deathly still form of her sister "But I've got places to be" she turned to Willy "I thought I told you this décor attracted the wrong type of clientele" Tay laughed as she left the bar.

Willy looked over the bar at the woman lying on the floor and then he looked to the door, making sure the other woman had left. When he was sure she had, Willy moved to the other side of the bar and crouched by Ren. He poked her hard in the side with his finger. Getting no reaction he reached up to her neck to feel for a pulse. 

He found one and it was surprisingly strong. Willy narrowed his eyes a little and poked her harder this time and Ren opened one eyes.

"Faker" Willy said as he stood up.

"She always underestimates me," Ren said as she sat up slowly. She put a hand to her head and winced a little "OK, just a little bump here. Y'know I really hate my sister"

"She didn't seem to like you too much either" Willy said as he helped Ren to her feet.

Ren smiled gratefully at Willy "We never really did get along" Ren leaned back against the bar. She closed her eyes and began to heal herself and sighed softly when she felt it complete. Opening her eyes she looked at Willy pointedly "I need to know why she's here."

"Don't look at me," Willy said as he went back behind the bar.

"You mean nothing unusual has happened since she's been here?"

"Well I don't know how long she's been here" Willy replied.

"Would a big wad of money help you remember?"

"How big?"

Ren produced a large billfold containing twenty-dollar bills "This big?"

Willy snatched the money from Ren "She was definitely in here last week. She did that magic blast thingy on some vamps that attacked her" Willy told her "She's also been seen going into one of the new buildings up by Westfield Cemetery."

"Which one?" Ren asked.

"Don't know exactly" he replied "Honestly. It was just mentioned in passing by a couple of other demons that were in here the last time she was. I didn't like to pry" he added.

"Thanks" Ren said "Guess I'd better go find this place and see what she's been up to."

--------------------

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(Time: 12.00noon)

Tay went to Giles' on her search for Xander. It had been his day off and when she had telephone his apartment there had been no answer.

Tay tried Giles' door but it was locked. She peered through the window and found the place bereft of life.

"Oh this is bloody fantastic" she muttered to herself as she walked away "By the time I find him to kill him, the little Slayer will already be dead" Tay then paused "But then I suppose if they both die excruciatingly painful deaths I can't really complain."

--------------------

__

(Time: 12.00noon)

Out of all the few new buildings by Westfield, only one of them was a block of apartments and the other two were office buildings. Since Ren knew her sister would want somewhere to stay and not stand about by the coffee machine and also knowing her sister's taste for the more luxurious, Ren figured this was where her sister was basing herself from.

Ren wandered into the lobby and headed up to the desk, smiling at the clerk seated behind it. But before she could speak, the young clerk gave her and odd look.

"It *is* Miss *Evans* isn't it?" he asked.

Ren smiled to herself "Oh, no" she smiled outwardly this time "Well not the one you mean. I'm her sister."

"Twins?"

"Yup" Ren leaned forward onto on the desk "I'm just here to see my sis. But it's a surprise visit and…" she flashed the clerk another smile "I can't remember what apartment number she said she was. I don't suppose…?"

"Number five" he replied "On the second floor."

"Five. Second floor. Got it" she moved away from the desk "Thanks."

"No problem" the clerk shouted after her as Ren made her way to the stairs.

She quickly ran up the two flights and then found herself a few moments later outside a door with a number large brass '5' on it. Ren placed one of her hands flat against the door. She could usually sense her sister but only when she was very near and right now she knew that Tay wasn't home.

Ren took her hand off the door and felt inside her jacket, producing a small roll of cloth that contained a few small tools. She removed the one she needed and looked both ways up and down the hallway before setting about the task of picking the lock of Tay's apartment.

It only took her a few moments and soon Ren was inside and the door shut behind her. Ren began to wander slowly 

around the main sitting room of the apartment. It was all open plan, save for three closed doors which Ren guessed must have other rooms behind them. From what she could see first off, it looked like her sister hadn't actually been living here. Someone had but it wasn't Tay.

Ren spotted a thick book on the dining table and she went over to examine it. She couldn't make out the title on the spine and when she opened it to a page that was quite clearly marked for some purpose she found the text was a demonic language that she barely knew. Ren took the book and sat down on the couch and began to try and translate the text. After about ten minutes she could only make out it was a spell and it was something to do with changing a spirit or something similar. Ren sighed and stood up and replaced the book where she had found it.

A small wooden chest on the floor by the window then caught Ren's eye. Ren went over to it and opened it up and found an assortment of items including clothes and a necklace with a silver cross hanging off it. Ren was puzzled because she got the feeling that none of it was her sisters.

Ren closed the chest and stood up. She looked around the sitting room again. She had yet to venture into the kitchen and there was a hallway, which had three closed doors, behind which Ren guessed there was probably at least one bedroom and a bathroom.

Ren went into the kitchen. She spotted nothing out of the ordinary lying around in plain view but her interest was raised when she found nothing in the cupboards except a half empty box of Weetabix and four bags of human blood in the refrigerator.

"This is all very strange," Ren said to herself as she made her way down the hallway. She came to the first closed door and tried the handle and found the door unlocked. She turned the handle slowly and opened the door.


	4. Part Four

****

Mirror Mirror

Part Four

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xander hit Tay's hand out of the way when she went to reach for his arm "Don't you *touch* me" he hissed "Don't you touch me *ever* again" he backed away from her.

Tay pouted "But you enjoyed *so* much last time"

Xander ignored her "Where is *she*? Where's Buffy? What have you done to her!"

__

(Time: 12.30pm)

Tay had conducted a quick search of all of Xander's usual haunts but had not found him. So now she had come back to Xander's apartment, figuring that he had to come home sometime. Tay used the key she had to gain entry to the apartment. As soon as the door closed she was greeted by the sight of Xander sitting by himself on the couch.

Xander looked up when he saw her enter "Hey… Buffy" Xander stood up "Where have you been?"

"I had-" Tay broke off and paused dramatically "I had some bad news" she said. Tay walked over to him and Xander stood up "I was over at Giles'" she continued "He called from London" she drew in a shaky breath "Something happened"

"To Ren?"

Tay nodded slowly "He found her… found me… my body" she sniffed "She's dead."

Xander closed his eyes and exhaled deeply before opening his eyes and looking back at Tay "S-she's… dead?"

"Oh Xander!" Tay threw her arms around his neck and pressed herself close to him "What are we going to do?"

Xander pulled back a little so he could look directly into her eyes "If Ren's dead," Xander said evenly "I have one question" he pushed her away roughly "Who the hell are you?"

"What makes you think I'm not Buffy" Tay said, moving quickly towards Xander and managing to get hold of him before he could get away.

Xander looked directly into her eyes "Because she would never had done what you did." Xander said, "Tara hypnotised me. I remember what you said… you *used* me… you *used* my body to-" Xander shook that memory from his mind "And-and Buffy would never have done that to me. Where is she!" Xander struggled to get away but Tay had a firm grip on his wrist.

Tay smiled and waved her hand and suddenly Xander saw the small camera on the wall above the door "Buffy's everywhere" Tay said "She knows *everything*"

"W-what… I-" Xander was silenced by lips being forced onto his, he tried to pull away but a hand gripped his head hard from behind.

Then Tay pulled back, letting go of Xander "Buffy knows *everything*"

Xander made a bolt for the door but she was quicker and by the time Xander got anywhere near the door Tay was standing in front of it, blocking his exit.

"Sorry honey" Tay shoved him backwards and Xander hit the floor "But you're not going anywhere."

Xander scrambled back towards the wall "I don't understand! Why are you doing this?! *Who* *are* you?!"

"Well of course you don't understand honey. You're not supposed to. And as for why I'm doing this… well…" Tay walked towards him and Xander looked up at her "My name is Tranquillity. Tay for short. I believe you knew my sister Serendipity *very* well"

Xander's eyes widened "Sisters? I-I didn't know-"

"You broke her heart" Tay interrupted "Did you know that?" Now that wasn't very nice of you was it?"

Xander tried to get to his feet but pushed him back down again "I didn't-" Xander began.

"Oh I'm afraid you did" Tay said. She smiled "And you still feel guilty for that don't you" Tay knelt beside him and pushed him further back against the wall he had scrambled back towards "I saw your little face when your read the letter I sent saying she wasn't coming back" her eyes glittered "You miss her more than you admit even to yourself"

"You-you sent it?"

"Uh huh" Tay moved her hand that was against his chest so that it was gripping his jaw "And like I said. You miss her. You know, since I've been Buffy, I've noticed the way different ways you've looked at me and I've got to tell you I don't think the real Buffy would be too happy with some of them" 

Xander gasped in pain when Tay increased the pressure on his lower jaw. Tay grinned and continued "I know some of those looks were because you were remembering times past" Tay grinned "But that's enough of that" she sighed "Look at this, you started to distract me from what I came here to do"

"And-" Xander grimaced as Tay stood up and not releasing her grip, she hauled him up at the same time "What's that?"

"I'm going to kill you" Tay replied "And your little girlfriend is going to watch" Tay grabbed hold of the back of Xander's sweater and then released her hold on his jaw. She moved to behind him and manoeuvred him so that he was in front of the camera.

"Buffy doesn't have much long left herself" Tay continued "Just long enough to watch you die before her eyes.

Xander tried to twist away but Tay caught hold of his arm and held him in place "Why are you doing this?" Xander asked as he still continued to struggle.

"Because I can" Tay replied. She let go of his sweater and grabbed a handful of his hair, pulling his head back. She let go of his arm and held out the now free hand in front of her and suddenly a knife materialised from nowhere in her palm.

Tay leaned towards him and whispered in his ear "Say bye bye."

--------------------

Ren was about to walk through the door but then something to her right caught her eye. She backed back out onto the hallway again and went to investigate two flat cables that ran across the floor from underneath one closed door and underneath another.

Ren frowned and knelt on the floor by the cables and gave them both a slight tug but there wasn't much give in either direction because the doors were closed. Crawling across the floor to one of the doors, Ren reached up and opened one it, pushing it open slightly. She pulled again on one of the cables and she felt something give and the cable became slack in her hand.

--------------------

Buffy was barely able to move. She could feel whatever Tay had injected her with invading her system. Buffy couldn't speak and found the only thing she could do was keep her eyes open, no matter how much she jut wanted to close them and let this whole nightmare be over. 

Buffy watched in horror as she saw Tay haul Xander to his feet and thrust him in front of the camera. She saw Xander look up in to the camera then suddenly the screen went black. Buffy blinked a few times before realising that she was not seeing Tay and Xander anymore and that she was no longer being *made* to watch the TV.

But then Buffy found her attention being drawn to something again. To a person standing in the doorway and staring at her in shock.

"Holy shit!" Buffy!"

Buffy blinked a couple of times and then tried to respond but she found herself unable to speak.

"Buffy?! What the hell" Ren hurried over to the bed. She took in Buffy's bedraggled state, the bruises along the jaw-line and the cuts and bruises that hadn't healed on Buffy's face "Buffy?" Ren gently tilted Buffy's face towards her and looked into her eyes "Buffy, can you hear me?"

Buffy tried to speak again but what she was trying to say never came out so she nodded instead. Buffy stared up into the blue eyes that were the same as her tormentor Tay, but yet not. Buffy saw nothing of Tay behind these eyes.

Ren began to examine the chains that held Buffy. She put her hand on one of the manacles and closed her eyes and felt the magic that was in them. But magic she knew she could dispel if she had Buffy's help. Only problem was that Buffy was in no fit state to help.

Ren tilted Buffy's head towards her again and then noticed Buffy was trying to tell her something "What?" Ren realised Buffy couldn't speak and that the blonde girl was wanting her to look at the TV. Ren turned her head towards the set and saw the blank screen. Frowning she turned back to Buffy who was giving her frantic looks "What? Buffy, I don't understand." 

"Look Buffy" Ren continued "I have to have your help to get you out of here, OK? But to do that I have to heal you and from your current position and the way I'd have to do it I don't see it happening easily" Ren looked at one of the manacles around one of Buffy's wrists "To heal you I'd have to get one of your hands out and there we have a catch 22 seeing as how I need your help to break them in the first place" Ren looked back to Buffy who was still sending her frantic looks "Buffy, I don't understand what you want to tell me, but as soon as I heal you, you can all right?" Ren paused "Now the only way I can see to do this is to completely mangle your hand to get it though the clasp. It'll be painful but only for as long as it takes for me to heal you. OK?"

Buffy looked at her for a few long seconds before giving her consent. She bit her lip and closed her eyes when she felt Ren crush her fingers together and the sounds of the bounds snapping were audible. Ren then pulled her hand up slightly so she could crush the bottom half and then slowly but surely Buffy could feel her hand being pushed through the manacle.

Ren kept hold of Buffy's hand went it was free then she climbed onto the bed and straddled herself over the Slayer, sitting on her hips.

Buffy looked up at her as Ren placed Buffy's hand flat against her chest over her heart, holding it there with one of her own hands. Ren then placed her other hand over Buffy's heart. She looked at the blond girl "You remember when I healed Xander this way?" she asked and Buffy nodded as much as she could "Then you remember it's going to be painful?" Buffy nodded again, urging her to hurry with her eyes. Ren took the hint and closed her eyes.

Buffy saw the faint reddish glow appear around the two places where she and Ren touched before she felt the wracking pain travel through her body. She screwed her eyes shut, trying to distance herself from it, but it was too powerful and she couldn't get away from it. It was like needles pricking into every part of her body and it seemed to go on forever.

But eventually the pain ceased and Buffy's eyes flew open, she pulled her now healed hand away from Ren and drew in a deep breath "Xander" she said quickly "She's going to kill Xander"

"Oh Jesus" Ren began to help Buffy with her other wrist restraint.

"Ren you have to go now!" Buffy cried "They're at his apartment. You have to go now!"

Ren fell backwards when they managed to free Buffy's other wrist "I can't stop her by myself!" Ren replied as she got up and began to help Buffy with the clamp on her left ankle "She's stronger than me"

"But you can distract her!" Buffy said as they struggled to free her "Stop her before she kills him please!"

"You don't understand Buffy!" Ren said as they got Buffy's ankle free and started on the other "She's too powerful. Her magick is too strong. I *can't* do it by myself. It's going to take two us to help Xander."

"Fine. We'll kick her ass together" Buffy said as her last appendage finally became free. 

Buffy and Ren raced from the apartment building. Buffy tried hard to keep up with Ren, the fact that she wasn't wearing any shoes didn't help matters. She followed Ren through and out of the building and then saw the other woman getting into a car parked over the other side of the road. Just as Buffy got in and had managed to shut the door, Ren peeled away from the curb.

Ren pointed to the glove compartment "My phone's in there" she told Buffy "Call the police and tell them to get over to Xander's place. They won't be able to do much but it might distract her a little."

Buffy pulled out the phone and then had to brace herself as Ren ran a red light. Buffy quickly pulled on the seatbelt and then looked at the phone. She was about to dial when the noticed the small screen indicating something important "There's no signal!" she cried.

"What?!"

"There's no signal!" Buffy repeated, bracing herself against the dashboard again when Ren turned a corner, almost crashing into another car. Buffy's attention was then drawn to something that fell out of the still open glove compartment and onto the floor of the car. Buffy reached down to pick it up and looked at it, an idea forming in her head "You sister told me a little about your history" Buffy said to Ren "Something about taking a south path and not being able to heal like you?"

Ren quickly flicked her eyes towards Buffy before concentrating on the road again "No, she can't heal like me. She's more like you" Ren said.

Buffy looked at the handgun she now held "Then if I shoot her, it'll slow her down right?"

"You know how to use it?"

"Sure. Point. Pull trigger. Bang" Buffy replied "Bye bye bitch."

"I don't know about 'Bye bye'" Ren responded.

"Oh *I* do" Buffy spat out. She looked at the phone again "Still no signal" she informed Ren.

"We're here now anyway" Ren said, driving up and onto the pavement and coming to a screeching halt out side the entrance to Xander's apartment complex.

Buffy shoved the gun into the back of her jeans and jumped out of the car after Ren and they both sped towards the entrance. They got through the doors and ran towards then up the stairs.

Ren reached Xander's apartment first and kicked the door open. Buffy pushed past her and hurried into the apartment, ready to confront Tay. But Tay was no where insight.

However, Xander was.

Severely beaten and lying face down in a pool of his own blood.

"Oh God. Xander!" Buffy cried. She rushed over to him "Oh God!" Buffy sank to her knees and quickly put her hand to his neck "I can't feel a pulse" she sobbed and looked towards Ren who had knelt opposite her

"Let me" Ren brushed Buffy's hand away "There is one" she said after a few long seconds "It's weak, but it's there" she gingerly rolled Xander over "Jesus Christ" she exclaimed as she saw the extent of his injuries. What was left of the sweater Xander had been wearing was matted with blood so much you couldn't even tell the original colour. Ren ripped the sweater open so she could see the wounds properly and saw there were two seriously large knife wounds to his abdomen, and the blood was still flowing freely from them.

Buffy sobbed and pressed her hands to his stomach, trying to stem the flow of blood "You have to do something" Buffy looked at Ren through her tears "You have to make him better!" she pleaded.

Ren brushed away her own tears "I can't" she said, "He has to be conscious. We have to get him to a hospital."

"We don't have time to wait for an ambulance!" Buffy cried "He won't make it"

Suddenly Ren felt another person in the room. She turned around and saw her sister leaning against the wall.

"She's right" Tay said "He won't make it. 'Cos not one of you is going anywhere"

Buffy reached into her pocket and pulled out the gun. She flipped back the safety catch "Ren move!"

Ren fell to the side and Buffy aimed the gun and fired. Tay cried out when she felt the bullet enter her stomach and she sank to the floor. "Ren get him out of here!"

"No!" Ren snatched the gun from Buffy before she had time to react. She thrust her keys at Buffy "You go. She's mine."

Buffy didn't have time to argue, and while Tay was taking her time getting to her feet again she quickly took the keys from Ren and swept Xander up into her arms. Buffy hurried to the open door but it suddenly slammed shut in her face.

Tay was on her feet, her hand clutched over her stomach "I told you that you weren't going *any*where"

Ren fired off another shot at her sister, but despite her injury Tay managed to dodge it, and did a dive roll to her left.

Meanwhile Buffy had hitched Xander in her arms so she could kick at the door. Buffy kicked at the hard at the door again, not paying any attention to the gunshot she heard ring out behind her. Buffy had one aim now. To get Xander, who was slowly dying in her arms, out of this place and to hospital. Buffy yelled out with a mixture of frustration and grief as she kicked at the magic strengthened door again and a sudden rush of adrenaline went through her when she felt the door give a little. Buffy kicked again and the door came off its hinges. Not looking back, Buffy ran.

Tay looked up to see her sister standing over her. Tay looked at the gun Ren was aiming towards her and then she looked into her sisters eyes and smiled "You're not going to shoot me" Tay said as she slowly got to her feet, her hand still pressed over her wound.

Ren backed away slightly but still kept the gun trained on Tay "And why not?"

"Because I just messed up the trigger mechanism" Tay grinned as Ren then proceeded to check out this new found information and tried to fire the gun, and found her sister was right.

Ren threw the gun to the floor and faced her sister off "Xander's going to be OK" she said as they began circling each other.

"Don't lie" Tay replied "You know as well as I do she was carrying a dead man out of that door"

Ren lashed out with her fist at her sister but Tay blocked it easily and caught hold of her sister's fist, managing to twist her sister's arm up and around her back and she forced Ren face forwards into the nearest wall "Poor little Buffy, having to watch her boyfriend die in front of her. Not quite how I'd planned it but I think it still has the same effect, don't you?"

Ren pushed herself back off the wall with her free arm and kicked her sister hard in one of her kneecaps. Tay hissed with pain and stumbled backwards, releasing her grip on Ren at the same time.

Ren dashed to the kitchen before her sister had time to react. She flung open one of the lower cupboards below the sink and reached behind one of the pipes. She sighed inwardly with relief when she found what she was looking for, glad that Xander hadn't moved them. Ren grabbed hold of the two small vials of liquid just before and strong hand grabbed hold of her hair and yanked her backwards. Ren found herself being thrown forward again, her head connected with the counter top before she was pulled to her feet. Ren quickly shoved one of the vials into her back pocket before reaching up and smashing the other against the side of her sister's face.

Tay let go of Ren's hair immediately and screamed in pain as the contents of the vial began to sizzle on her flesh, starting to eat away at it. Ren clasped both her hands together and dealt a double fisted blow to Tay's head. Tay crashed to the floor and Ren kicked her hard in the face for good measure before jumping over the sprawled form of her sister and rushing from the apartment to the sounds of approaching sirens.

--------------------

Buffy swore as her bare foot slipped off the accelerator pedal yet again. She slammed her foot back on it and ignored that honking horns that told her she had ran yet another red light. Even going at this speed she knew she wasn't going to make it to the hospital for another few minutes and she didn't even dare guess how much blood Xander had lost.

Ren's car was only a two-seater convertible, so she'd had to strap Xander into the passenger seat. Except with Xander being unconscious he hadn't wanted to stay there so Buffy was now driving with Xander half slumped into her lap.

Buffy was trying to hold back her tears, knowing it would be impossible to drive anymore if she completely broke down. Buffy took one hand of the wheel and touched her fingertips to Xander's neck, trying to find a pulse. Buffy choked back a sob when she couldn't find one.

She put her hand back on the wheel as she sped round a corner "Don't you die on me Xander Harris!" she began to sob "Don't you dare" Buffy spotted the turning for the hospital and she cut across the other line of traffic and kept her foot on the accelerator until she came to a screeching halt in the ambulance bay by the emergency room.

"Some help here!" she yelled to a paramedic who was standing by the entrance "Please!" Buffy jumped out of the car and rushed to the passenger side where the paramedic who helped her get Xander out of the car quickly joined her. 

They both carried him into the emergency room and upon entering the paramedic quickly called for assistance.

Everything then became a blur for Buffy as Xander was taken from her and placed onto a trolley. She started to follow after him as they began to wheel him away but the paramedic who had helped her held her back.

"But I want to be with him" she said between sobs "I want to be with him" she shoved the paramedic to the side but by then Xander had been wheeled away and Buffy hadn't seen where to.

"Where'd they take him?!" she spun around and addressed the entire emergency room "I wanna be with him! Someone tell me where he is!"

"Miss please" the paramedic took hold her arm firmly "He's in the best place"

Buffy pushed him away again and broke down. She sank to her knees and the tears flowed freely and her chest began to heave with her sobs "I don't want him to die" she cried "He can't die. I love him so much" Buffy wrapped her arms around her chest before finding herself being pulled into strong arms. Buffy turned to see who it was and flinched instinctively when she looked into familiar blue eyes.

"It's OK" Ren said as she held Buffy "He'll be OK"

Buffy began to cry again and Ren helped her to her feet "Sshh" Ren tried to comfort Buffy through her own tears "They'll fix him and it'll all be fine."

"What happened?" Buffy asked "Did you kill her?"

Ren sighed "No" she sniffed "But she won't be going anywhere for a while."

"Will she come here?"

"I hope not" Ren replied "But if she does I'll be ready" Ren pulled Buffy to her and held the other woman in a tight embrace "Xander's not going to leave us" she said "As soon as he comes round I'll get the doctors out and make him all right"

Buffy sniffed against Ren's shoulder "Thank you" she said "Thank you so much. If you hadn't been-"

"Sshh" Ren said again, rubbing her hand soothingly on Buffy' back "It's going to be fine."

"We're engaged" Buffy mumbled , her sobs subsiding a little "I thought you should know"

"Oh… I… engaged?" Ren felt Buffy nod against her shoulder "That's nice. I'm glad."

"You don't sound it" Buffy said, pulling back from Ren.

"I'll get there."

Buffy felt someone tap her on the shoulder and she turned around to see a young female doctor standing before her, the name badge she was wearing read 'Dr Megan Elliott'.

"Excuse me" Dr Elliott said gently "But we're going to need some details about the young man you came in with."

"He's going to be OK isn't he?" Buffy asked, her eyes brimming with hopeful tears "Please tell me he's going to be OK"

Dr Elliott hesitated "I'm afraid it's to early to tell yet" she replied "The injuries he sustained-"

"But he's going to be OK?" Buffy asked again.

Dr Elliott hesitated again and Ren put her hand on Buffy's shoulder "Please" Ren asked "What are his chances?"

"Not good" the Dr Elliott replied "He lost a lot of blood. If he hadn't arrived when he did it   
would have been pointless for us to even attempt a transfusion" she paused "But even then he's still bleeding internally. We have the best doctors trying to help him."

"Has he regained conscious?" Ren asked "I can help if you'll let me-"

"No" Dr Elliott replied "He hasn't woken yet. Are you a doctor?" she asked Ren.

Ren shook her head "But I can help. I can-"

"I want to see him" Buffy interrupted, wiping away her tears "Please."

Dr Elliott shook her head "I'm afraid not"

"Please, we need to know the moment he wakes up" Ren said, taking hold of Dr Elliott's arm "Please tell us."

Dr Elliott looked at the women who were both clearly upset about their friend "OK" she agreed "I'll get someone to let you know. But we need some details about your friend first. This was a vicious attack. The police have already been informed. Hospital policy" she added.

Buffy turned to Ren "I'll talk to them" she said "Can you call Willow?"

"Sure" Ren said "What about Rupert?"

"I don't think Giles is in the country" Buffy said "Please, just call Willow" and Buffy began to walk off with Dr Elliott.

Ren wiped away her tears and ran a hand through her hair. She felt in her pocket for her phone but then realised it was in her car. She walked up to the reception desk and spoke to the tired looking nurse behind it "Payphones?" Ren asked and the nurse pointed to her right. Ren smiled in thanks and headed in the direction the nurse indicated.

She only had to go to the end of the corridor before she came to a row of about five phone booths and each one had someone using the phone in it.

Ren noticed a sign informing her there were more available phones on the next floor. Ren looked for the stairs, she didn't find them but she saw a sign that indicated where they were. Ren began to follow the signs and was about to make her way up the stairs when someone grabbed her from behind.

Ren spun around quickly and came face to face with her sister.

"Is he dead yet?" Tay spat in Ren's face.

"You bitch" Ren drew back her arm to hit Tay but felt herself flying backwards instead and she landed on her back.

The only two people who were in the corridor took one look at the menacing, scarred face of the darker haired woman and bolted. With lightening speed, Tay was at her sister's side, hauling her to her feet by her hair. She dragged Ren through a nearby fire exit and proceeded to throw her sister down a flight of stairs 

"You fix me you bitch" Tay pointed to her face, which was blistered and red raw because of the vial of liquid Ren has smashed against her face "Look what you did!" she stood at the top of the stairs, shouting down at her sister. Tay leapt down to her sister's side "Do you know how long this is going to take to heal" she kicked Ren as she tried to stand. Tay lifted her top to expose her wounded stomach "And as for this" she went to kick Ren again but her sister blocked the blow and caught hold of her foot, pulling Tay to the floor beside her.

Tay reached up quickly and grabbed Ren by the throat by both hands, and shoving her backwards so she was pinned to the wall. Ren gripped her sister's wrists and tried to pull Tay's hands away. She then drew her knees up and kicked Tay in the stomach.

Tay yelled in pain as she went backwards but she never let go of Ren and both women went tumbling back and down the next flight of stairs. Ren felt her head hit the floor hard and she hissed in pain as Tay tightened even more the grip she had on her throat.

"Fix me!" Tay spat again.

"Never!"

-------------------

After talking to Dr Elliott, Buffy went back to the emergency room waiting area and took a seat. She rested her forearms on her knees and hung her head. She took a few deep breaths and then raised her head. She stared straight ahead blankly. She just wanted to be numb. To be able to just shut down completely and not think about anything. But she couldn't. Not when Xander was fighting for his life.

Buffy hugged her arms around herself and began to rock slightly. Tears began to prick at her eyes again and she drew in a couple of shaky breaths. She looked around for Ren but the other woman had yet to return. Buffy sighed and closed her eyes, feeling her tears begin to run down her cheeks. Buffy raised her hand to scrub them away when she heard a frantic voice coming from behind her. She opened her eyes again and saw a woman approach the nurse's station.

"I think someone should call security!" the woman said anxiously "There was this woman and she-she attacked this other woman. Just threw along the corridor like she was nothing!"

Buffy was alert. She stood up and hurried over to the woman "Did one of them have blue hair" Buffy asked.

"Yeah" the woman replied "She was the one who got hurt"

"Oh no" Buffy paled "Which way? Where did it happen?"

"By… by the stairwell"

Buffy knew where she meant and took off down the corridor. She ran as fast as she could but when she arrived by the stairwell there was no one in sight. Then Buffy saw the slightly open door of the fire escape and Buffy's instinct's kicked in.

-------------------

Tay continued to choke Ren "Heal me!" she cried "You can do it. I bloody well know you can!"

"I'm not going to do anything to help you!" Ren yelled back

"Then I'll just have to help myself!" Tay slammed Ren's head back against the wall hard, stunning her sister and then took one of her hands from around Ren's neck and slammed her palm flat against Ren's forehead "I always have to live in your little goody two shoes shadow and I'm sick of it" Tay said and a bright green light shone from where Tay's hand connected with Ren's head "Well now I'm going to get something back and leave you with nothing" the green glow got brighter and Ren was immobilised allowing her sister the freedom to do what she wanted "And I was saving *this* little present for Christmas" Tay continued as the green light changed to a blue one "But I guess you'll just have to have it now!"

-------------------

Just as Buffy pushed open the door to the fire escape she heard an ear-splitting scream. Recognising it as one of the twins, Buffy stuck her head over the railing and saw Tay standing over an unconscious Ren. Seeing Ren's evil other half obviously revelling in the pain she'd cause, rage coursed through Buffy's veins and she leapt up and over the railing, travelling downwards fast. She felt her bare feet connect with Tay's upper back and the force of her landing sent the other woman to the floor. Buffy leapt backwards onto one of the steps and just as Tay got to her feet again Buffy sprang forward, raising her feet and smashing them as hard as she could into the base of the other woman's spine.

Buffy grabbed hold of a handful of Tay's hair and hauled her to her feet. Buffy then slammed Tay face first into the wall "How does it feel to be on the receiving end?!" Buffy cried, slamming Tay into the wall again "Huh? How does it feel?!"

Tay tried to twist away from the Slayer's grip but Tay had nearly drained her energy resources on her sister only moments before. She cried out when Buffy let go of her hair to deliver a blow to her still wounded stomach.

"Come on tell me!" Buffy yelled as she landed a left cross on Tay's jaw. Buffy went to hit her again but Tay managed to block it and then landing her own blow on Buffy, sending the blonde backwards. Buffy stumbled over Ren's outstretched legs and fell backwards. As Buffy put her hand on Ren's foot to push herself up, she felt the outline of a familiar object. Buffy twisted around and pulled out the knife that was inside Ren's boot. Suddenly Buffy felt herself being grabbed by her collar and pulled backwards.

"I'll tell you how it feels" Tay hissed as she slammed Buffy into the wall "It feels good"

"Really?" Buffy jabbed her elbow back, catching Tay in the ribs "How does this feel?" Buffy managed to twist around and she plunged the knife as deep as she could into Tay's abdomen.

Tay yelled out and staggered backwards but Buffy kept hold of the knife "Feel good?" Buffy said "Now you know how Xander felt!" Buffy lunged at her again but Tay side-stepped and Buffy ended up behind Tay.

"Yeah Xander screamed real good" Ren said cruelly as Buffy spun back around to face her "And not just when I ripped open his stomach."

Rage coursed though Buffy again and she lunged at Tay again, only just missing the other woman with her weapon but still managing to take Tay with her as they tumbled down the next flight of stairs.

As they hit the next landing Buffy was the first to react and straddled Ren's hips. "You won't win" Buffy said coldly "Evil never does" she raised her hand with the knife and plunged it towards Tay's heart but Tay caught hold of Buffy's wrist just as the tip of the blade made contact with her chest.

"I wouldn't say that" Tay replied and she flipped them both over and managed to twist the knife so it was aimed at Buffy. 

Buffy looked into Tay's eyes "But it's true" Buffy said.

"Drop the knife." 

Buffy's eyes flicked to the security guard who stood half way up the flight of stairs they'd just fallen down. His gun was aimed at Tay's back.

Tay never lost her hold on the knife and turned around to glare at the guard "Do you *mind*? I'm *busy* here!"

"Drop the knife!" the guard pulled back the safety catch "Now!"

Tay's eyes narrowed and glowed red. The guard's eyes widened and he immediately fired off a shot, hitting Tay square in the forehead.

Tay slumped onto Buffy, the knife falling limply from both their hands. The guard moved a little closer, still keeping his gun trained on Tay.

"Miss" he asked Buffy "Miss are you all right?"

Buffy looked up at him, relief evident in her eyes "Do you think you could shoot her again just to make sure?" Buffy scrambled from underneath Tay.

"I don't think she's going anywhere" the guard said and he was quickly joined by one of his colleagues who then went over to Tay and turned her over. He felt her neck to try and feel for a pulse. He sighed and shook his head. He looked at her other wounds and then looked back to his colleague.

"You're right" he said "She's not going anywhere" he stood up and went to help Buffy to her feet "Are you OK?"

"Buffy?"

Buffy turned to look at Ren who was being helped down the stairs towards her "Ren-"

"She took it Buffy" Ren said weakly and she grasped hold of the guard next to her as her knees buckled "She took it from me"

Buffy went to Ren's side "What Ren? What did she take?"

"Everything" Ren's voice was barely audible "I can't help him" she sniffed "Xander's on his own."

Buffy's eyes widened "What did she do Ren" Buffy demanded "Why can't you help him?!"

Ren looked at her with sad eyes "She took my power. I can't heal" tears began to roll down Ren's face "Then she gave me something back."

"What?"

"My mortality."

--------------------

The guards and police who had arrived on the scene had wanted to question Buffy and Ren but Buffy had told them that they didn't want to be away from Xander any longer and they had said they'd speak to them later.

She had spoken to Dr Elliott who had informed her that while Buffy had been gone Xander had been taken into surgery.

That had been about twenty minutes ago and now Buffy was sitting in relative's room. It was only now what Ren had said was now sinking in.

Ren couldn't help anymore. She wasn't able to. 

And Buffy had no idea what she was going to do now.

She could only wait.

And hope.

And pray.

Amidst all the feelings worry and grief over Xander that were threatening to overcrowd her mind was Buffy's indecision of whether she was happy or not that it wasn't her who got to deal the final blow to Tay. On the one hand she was just glad it was all over and that it didn't really matter who killed her because she was dead. That was it. On the other hand, Tay had put Buffy through so much, tormented her and beat her, caused her emotional pain as well as physical and that wasn't even getting started over what she had done to Xander. Buffy had wanted to be the one to end Tay's miserable life. To make a clean break, to end the cycle.

Whatever Buffy finally decided on in the end she knew that she wasn't going to get anymore nasty comeback surprises from Tay. She had made sure herself that the bitch was dead. Ren agreed as well.

Buffy looked across at Ren. The other woman was lying on her back across the span of four chairs and she was staring blankly up at the ceiling. Buffy had given up trying to get her to talk. Ren just refused to acknowledge Buffy was even speaking to her. She just drifted off into her own little world.

A short time later there was a knock at the door and it opened slowly and Willow poked her head through the gap. 

Buffy then remembered having telephoned Willow amidst everything, just telling her friend to get to the hospital because Xander had been hurt. She didn't know if Willow had realised who'd called her, but seeing the shock on her best friend's face when Willow spotted her, she guessed Willow had come because of Xander.

Willow gasped and she pushed open the door fully and then her attention was drawn to the other woman in the room and she did a double take.

"Wha… I don't understand-" Willow kept looking between Ren and Buffy.

Buffy smiled weakly at her friend "Hey Will"

Willow took one long look at Ren and then turned her attention to Buffy. Her brow furrowed "Buffy?" she said hesitantly.

Buffy nodded "I think you'd better sit down Willow ."

Ten minutes later, Willow was staring at Buffy in shock after hearing her friend tell her the whole story.

"Oh God Buffy. I-I can't take this in. This… this is just so much" Willow put her hand over her mouth" "I can't believe we didn't know."

"She fooled you" Buffy explained "She said something about it not being the spell you thought it was. She said she had my aura and she said" Buffy paused and ran a hand through her hair "She said she tricked Xander. Did something to his mind" Buffy said "You couldn't have known."

"But we *should* have" Willow said "We should have *known*" Willow whispered "Oh god Buffy. She was with us for so long. The way she was… she was so… *you*" Willow looked at Buffy guiltily "I'm *so* sorry Buffy… we should… *I* should have-"

"It's *not* your fault" Buffy said "She had everyone under her spell" Buffy took Willow's hand and squeezed it comfortingly "Tay's the only one at fault here" Buffy said "And she's dead. She's paid the price for what she did."

Willow looked across at Ren who had been silent the entire time she had been there "How did Ren know? How did she know where to find you?"

Buffy shrugged "I don't know" she said "I'm just so glad she did"

"What wrong with her?"

"This is where it gets worse" Buffy said. 

"How could it get *worse*?"

Buffy took a deep breath "Ren won't be able to heal Xander when he wakes up" Buffy said slowly "She's can't do that anymore"

Willow's eyes widened "She can't? What? Why?"

"Tay… before she died… she did something to Ren" Buffy paused "She made her human again. She's been like that" Buffy pointed to Ren "Ever since."

Willow's eyes widened even further and she looked across at Ren again "She did what? Human? But that's not possible-"

"Willow, I saw some of the stuff Tay did. The magic stuff… she was *strong*, she was-" Buffy broke off and blinked back tears "Xander never stood a chance"

Willow put her arm around Buffy's shoulder. Buffy leaned into the embrace and rested her head on Willow's shoulder and began to sob quietly.

"We're supposed to be happy" Buffy whispered "Why did it all have to go wrong."

"But it won't be wrong for long… right?" Willow tried to comfort Buffy "The doctors will fix him. He's *Xander*, nothing's going to happen" Willow twisted in her seat and wrapped her other arm around Buffy, pulling her friend closer as Buffy's cries became louder. Willow's own tears now began to flow freely "It's going to be OK" she said, hugging Buffy closer "It's going to be OK" Willow repeated. She looked across at Ren and Willow now noticed the other woman was crying silent tears.

Willow closed her eyes and sniffled "Xander's going to be just fine."

-------------------

Four hours later, Willow still held Buffy, half dozing, in her arms. Ren was still lying across four seats and was staring up at the ceiling.

"Excuse me."

Buffy and Willow turned their attention to the door where a man in surgical scrubs stood.

"What is it?" Buffy asked, as the man came into the room

"Are you Miss Summers?" he asked Buffy. She nodded and he continued "I'm Dr Woods. I operated on your fiancé"

"Is he all right?" Buffy asked, disengaging herself from Willow and standing up "Please tell me he's alright."

Dr Woods hesitated "I think you may want to sit back down."

Buffy's eyes widened and she gripped Willow's hand "Oh god. No… *no*" Buffy sniffed "He's not-"

"No" Dr Woods replied quickly "But-" he broke off and looked at the three women "I've already relayed this to his mother. She's only just arrived and she's with him now. I spoke with Dr Elliott and she told me that you were here-"

"Please just tell me" Buffy pleaded.

Dr Woods hesitated "As you know when he arrived, Alexander had lost a lot of blood. If he hadn't been brought in when he had he would have died. Luckily we were able to provide him with some. But-" he paused "His internal bleeding meant it just… kept coming out again"

"I know" Buffy said "That's why Dr Elliott told me you had to operate. I want to see him."

"You'll have to talk to his mother I'm afraid. I think she wanted only family" Dr Woods replied.

"But I *have* to see him" Buffy cried "I'll go talk to her. Make her-"

"Buffy" Willow placed a hand on her friend's shoulder "I think the Doctor wants to tell us something else"

Buffy looked up at Dr Woods "Is there something else?"

"I *do* think you'd better sit down" Dr Woods replied.

"Just *tell* me" Buffy said "Please."

Dr Woods turned and closed the door to the room. He turned back to Buffy "The surgery went well" he said "We managed to stop the bleeding and repair the damage done to his abdomen"

"But that's good" Buffy said "He's going-" she broke off when Dr Woods lowered his gaze "What?" she asked "What's wrong?"

"It appeared that Alexander, as well as sustaining the wounds he did to his abdomen, also sustained extensive damage to his skull. Whoever attacked him, beat him severely around the head."

Buffy paled "What are you saying?"

Dr Woods drew in a deep breath and then exhaled "Alexander hasn't regained consciousness. He's in a coma."

Buffy paled even more "But-but he's going to wake up… right?"

"I'm afraid it's too early to tell yet" he replied "We have more tests to run-"

"What are his chances?" Willow asked as she gripped Buffy's hand.

"Like I said, we have more tests to run and currently he is breathing by himself-"

"Just tell me" Buffy pleaded "Is he going to wake up anytime soon?"

Dr Woods shook his head "Realistically… there's only a forty percent chance he'll ever regain consciousness" he paused "I'm sorry."

Buffy just stared at him "No" she said "No. This… this isn't *supposed* to happen. You're supposed to come in here and tell me he's going to be all right!"

"Buffy" Willow said softly "Getting angry isn't going to help Xander" Willow turned to Dr Woods "I'll look after her"

Dr woods nodded "Again… I'm sorry" he said before he left.

Buffy turned to Willow "I have to see him" Buffy said "I can't just sit here with him out there"

"OK" Willow said, brushing away her own tears "Did you want me to come with?"

Buffy shook her head "No, I… I want to do this by myself."

Willow hugged Buffy tightly "Give him my love" she said.

"I will" Buffy said as she pulled back from Willow "Can you call my mom?"

Willow nodded and Buffy smiled gratefully before leaving the room.

Buffy enquired at the nurse's station as to where she could find Xander now within the hospital. The nurse recognised her from earlier and told Buffy where he was.

Buffy could feel herself getting number as she walked along the corridors. She knew what people must think of her. She didn't know what she looked like walking around in bare feet and she hadn't even looked in a mirror for over a week. She had realised the cuts and bruises on her face had gone when Ren had healed her, but it still didn't change how dirty and tired she felt.

Soon though, she found herself outside Xander's room. The door was closed and half-closed blinds covered the window that faced the corridor. Buffy pressed her face to the window and tried to peek through, trying to get a glimpse of Xander. But she couldn't make anything out. Buffy stepped back and then she heard someone call her name.

"Buffy?"

Buffy turned around and saw Xander's mother. Buffy smiled weakly "Hey."

"What happened to you?" she asked "Did you get in the same fight as Xander?"

Buffy shook her head "No" she said softly, feeling tears pricking at her eyes again "I got out lucky."

Mrs Harris placed a hand on her shoulder "Come and see him" she said.

Buffy looked at her hopefully "I thought you wanted only family" she followed Mrs Harris to the door "The doctor said-"

"The doctor also said Xander needed to hear familiar voices" she smiled sadly at Buffy before opening the door "It'll help him."

Buffy smiled gratefully and followed the other woman into the room. Her smile faded though when she saw Xander "Oh god" Buffy put her hand to her mouth.

Xander lay covered with a blanket up to his chest. His arms lay on top of the covers by his side. He was hooked up to more machines than Buffy cared to count. Buffy walked up to one side of the bed slowly. She reached out tentatively and touched his cheek. Buffy looked sadly at the bruises that covered his face and jaw line. His head was bandaged and there was a dressing on his cheek where Buffy remembered him having a deep gash.

Buffy couldn't believe how still he was, save for his breathing there was no movement at all.

"I'll leave you two alone" Mrs Harris said and she left.

Buffy didn't think she had any more tears left, but soon she felt them rolling down her cheeks. She took one of Xander's hands in hers and squeezed it tightly "Xander honey, it's Buffy" she sniffed "I don't know if you can hear me or not.. but… oh god Xander… look what she did to you."

Buffy brought Xander's hand to her cheek and held it there "It's really me" she whispered "I never went anywhere. Not far anyway" Buffy drew in a shaky breath "It was all Tay's fault. She did this. Did this to us… to you. I know what happened. I know everything. *Nothing* is *our* fault. Don't just stay wherever you are because you think I'm mad at you. I'm not" Buffy kissed Xander's palm "I'm not mad at you. I want you to come back. I love you."

Buffy set Xander's hand back down but didn't let go of it "I love you Xander" she bent down and placed a soft kiss on his lips "Please wake up" Buffy pulled back half expecting her words to be magical and that Xander's eyes would flutter open. But they weren't and they didn't.

Buffy brushed away her tears "Please Xander… "

"Buffy?"

Buffy turned around and saw Willow standing in the doorway. Her face was streaked with tears. "Hey" Buffy smiled weakly.

"I-I couldn't keep away" she sniffed "He looks so peaceful" Willow said as she joined Buffy.

"He always does when he's sleeping."

Willow smiled a little then it faded "Except he's not sleeping, is he?"

Buffy looked back at Xander "No" Buffy brushed away a tear "Willow, what am I going to do if he doesn't get better?"

"Don't say things like that" Willow said "We have to think positive" Willow put her arm around Buffy's shoulder and Buffy turned into the embrace "He's going to be OK Buffy" Willow murmured.

"Could you please keep telling me that?" Buffy pulled back. Willow smiled sadly and nodded. Buffy turned back to Xander and reached out to brush her fingers over his lips "Please wake up Xander. I need you… please"

But Xander didn't respond.

****

END… for now…

__

Check out the sequel **'Aspects of Love'**


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